From Almond To Silky, How New-Age Moms Are Changing The Definition Of Motherhood

From Almond To Silky, How New-Age Moms Are Changing The Definition Of Motherhood

Societal changes and women stepping out for work have added to these new terms

Sapna SarfareUpdated: Friday, March 08, 2024, 03:38 PM IST
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Pic: Freepik

The utterly fabulous film Mean Girls has Regina George’s mom say a dialogue – There are no rules in this house; I’m not a regular mom. I’m a cool mom. It just defined her mom character.

Over the years, motherhood has seen many changes. Now, new types of moms, from Almond Moms to Unicorn Moms and more – are coming to the forefront. Shreeya Ghag, Psychologist, Mpower, reveals, “These terms have risen from the need to categorise and understand parenting behaviours, at the same time contributing to the ideas from a cultural and philosophical lens. The influence of media as well as the sharing of experiences from other mothers also adds to these concepts. It’s important to note that these terms are ever evolving thanks to the various factors that impact parenthood in general.”

Moms

Strategy consultant Nupur Bhatnagar, a mother of a two-year-old daughter, calls herself a ‘Dolphin Mom’. “I am a little firm when it comes to her daily routine. I do not encourage screen times unless it is a guided class with my presence, and as a result people around us are shocked to see my daughter eat and enjoy social gatherings without whining for our mobiles. However, when it comes to apparels or fun times, we step out of any routine, and ensure this happens once every 15 days or if any occasion calls for it.”

She thinks toys encourage learning and boost curiosity and wants her daughter to learn the practical aspects of life when they are out for anything.

Scrunchy mother Durgesh Nandini is a parent to a three-year-old and five-month-old. “As an individual, I always like to strike a balance between what my parents have taught me via what I learn from my surroundings and experience. As a scrunchy mother, I am making a balance between the traditions and the logical things for my child’s growth and development. For example, my mother started to give me gripe water when I was two-day-old. But, for my child I never had to use gripe water. Firstly because I was against it and secondly, my child had no symptoms of colic and stomach bloating.”

The mom talk

Dr Rahul Chandhok, Head Psychiatrist, Head Consultant, Mental Health and Behavioural Science, Artemis Hospitals, feels different moms have different impact on kids. “For instance, overly permissive or indulgent moms which are known as Silky, might present problems with self-discipline. Unicorn moms focus on individuality, which helps encourage self-expression.”

Ghag feels it is essential to recognise that despite the parenting style one opts for, every style will have pros and cons. “It’s an evolving journey. In the short run, these styles can influence the kind of exposure the children get as well as the stress they may experience while growing up."”

Monica Malhotra Kandhari, Managing Director, AASOKA and MBD Group, is a ‘Corporate Mom’ to two young kids. “My journey as a mother has been marked by dedication, ambition, and a commitment to balancing career success with nurturing my children. I understand the intricacies of managing a demanding professional life while also prioritising the needs of my family. The term ‘Corporate Mom’ resonates with me because it encapsulates the dynamic and ever-evolving nature of modern motherhood in the corporate world.”

She navigates work and family challenges with grace and determination. “I lead by example, showing my children the importance of hard work. I carve out dedicated time to spend with my kids, ensuring that I am emotionally present and able to provide the support and attention they deserve.”

Some advice

Ghag does understand the complexities and challenges of motherhood. “Regardless of what cap a mom wears while parenting her child, the virtue of calm will go a long way. Each mother has their child’s best interests at heart, and when the going gets tough, it becomes difficult, at times, to see that our children are perfect in their ways. Acceptance can be a pillar of strength for not just our children but also for mothers as we embrace the uniqueness and imperfections of our children and give them a safe space to be nurtured without the external pressure of the world’s expectations.”

Dr Chandhok wants all moms to prioritise physical and mental self-care. “While taking care of kids and handling other responsibilities, moms often neglect their well-being which not only has a negative impact on them but on their kids as well. So it’s crucial that moms take out time for rest, and doing things that bring joy and fulfillment.”

It’s personal

Silky mom, Nikky Gupta, the founder and CEO of Teamwork Communications and Co-Founder of IHW Council, has two young sons. She feels defining motherhood through types seems to be limited. “That said, moms with a balanced, flexible approach like the one described can positively influence their children’s upbringing. By blending nurturing with reasonable boundaries, these moms encourage independence, resilience, and empathy in their kids. I believe the impact of a mother's parenting style is nuanced and individualised.”

Durgesh mentions, “In today's nuclear family, a mother is independent to make decisions for her child from her learning from the family, friends and own conscience and consciousness. I engage my toddler towards a lot of emphatic activities and at the same time encourage him to focus on his self-confidence too.”

Times change. Yet the one thing that will not change is the fact that no one can replace the love and care of mothers.

Types of moms

Silky mom

She has traits like being extra indulgent and prioritising the child’s happiness above everything. Thus, they have a difficult time setting boundaries and enforcing rules leading to issues with self-discipline and respect for authority in their children.

Crunchy mom

They have a traditional parenting styles. It is all about prioritising discipline and structure, and ensuring the kids stick to rigid routines. Their kids will excel in following instructions, but feel pressurised in meeting expectations. It can result in anxiety or resentment.

Scrunchie mom

These are the ‘most commonly found middle ground moms’. They try be the best of both worlds. They will, for example, not blink at using disposable diapers over cloth ones when required. Many state this parenting style is preferable over choosing the extreme.

Dolphin mom

You can define these moms with their communicating empathy style of parenting. They are all about open communication and understanding that make their bond with their kids stronger and encourage emotional intelligence in the kids.

Unicorn mom

This style of mom will give priority to creativity and individuality. These moms like to encourage their kids in expressing themselves freely along with following their passions. It helps build a sense of liberation, confidence and finding themselves.

Almond moms

Such moms develop a strict environment for their kids leading to the latter’s unhealthy relationship with lifestyle. They inadvertently develop an environment that impacts their child negatively and leads to things like poor self-esteem.

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