Sanjeev Kotnala, the Branding and Marketing consultant has transformed his rues of life into a reader friendly, self-help book. 25 Rules Of Life I Wish I had Known Earlier is a book where he shares his learnings of life in a rule book format. ‘It is just a catalyst. No, it is not an alternative to hard work,’ Kotnala mentions in his Author’s Note.
He also reiterates in an introductory note that the rules mentioned are not in an order of importance and tells the reader that he is reachable via his email if they want any assistance after reading the book.
“While the younger generation might think that things have changed drastically, I don’t think certain rules ever go out of fashion,” says Kotnala during a conversation with The Free Press Journal. “Just that some are aap beeti (self-experience) and some are jag beeti (experience of others). Therefore, the context changes.”
The book is not just about professional tips. It is a book that intends to help you develop your personal brand on both levels — personal and professional. He emphasises the importance of giving precedence to significant and valuable relationships in life. In his chapter Nurture Relationships he advises to stay away from toxic relationships and tells us a way to identify them.
Having said that, he says that each one of us has different yard sticks when it comes to relationships. “One must remember that what disturbs us is the difference or the gap between expectations and experiences. The gap decides our response. I have attempted to help people travel this gap.”
Kotnala recommends that everyone should read the chapter Being Positively Selfish. “That’s my favourite chapter,” he says. “You have to take care of yourself first to be able to take care of others. It is like the announcement in the flight — ‘wear your own mask before helping others’. One has to understand the difference between being positively selfish and self-centred. Being positively selfish doesn’t mean being ruthless and self-obsessed about one’s own good at the expense of others. It means making yourself your priority and being happy. Only then can you add meaningful value to your relationships.”
Another principle that Kotnala propagates is letting go of the past. He has two chapters that tell you the importance of this rule — Forget The Past and PaRAM. In Forget The Past he tells us to detach yourself from the past to write the new chapter of tomorrow. He gives examples of iconic figures who managed to do that and rise as phoenix.
PaRAM is interesting. It is a four-step process that he teaches. Pa=Pause, R=Reflect, A=Absorb and M=Move on. He explains each process and accentuates that it’s equally important to learn from success as it is from failure. “PaRAM is a model that I recommend to everyone. Moving on from success is also as essential as it is move on from failures.”
Another interesting chapter is Eat The Frog. “This is loosely based on and inspired by Brian Tracy’s book Eat That Frog,” admits Kotnala. This chapter introduces you to the difference between laziness and procrastination and goes on to give tips about overcoming procrastination.
In the chapter Ram Singh’s Dilemma Kotnala reminds us that the world doesn’t go around neither revolves because of us and neither nor does it stop when we do. In a unique way he tells us that we are not as important as we think we are. It is a leadership lesson.
For entrepreneurs, there are two other chapters which can help them enhance their relationship with their employees – Relevant VXP or MXP and Decoding Six Employee Types. Complex relationship modules are explained in simple manner in these chapters.
Kotnala attributes a lot of his learnings to his professional life as Branding and Marketing CXO and his training and work as Mid Life Crisis coach. “Mid Life crisis is not what occurs when you turn 40 or 50. It is a crisis that you face every time you change roles. For example, when you leave student hood and become a working adult, when you marry, when you change jobs, when you become a parent… all these situations are mid life crisis situations. My book gives you rules that can help you over ride these crisis situations.”
Kotnala doesn’t expect all to read the book or all who read to like the book. “Some may like, others may not like. The book is contextual. Those who resonate will like it. Others won’t. And I am okay with it. I write because I can write and want to write,” Kotnala asserts as he ends the call.
