Revolver Ranee: Politics and poetry

Revolver Ranee: Politics and poetry

One defends mob lynching, another slams. Then a so-called reasonably intelligent actor, Jayaben, matriarch of Bollywood, defends lynching.

Revolver RaneeUpdated: Saturday, December 07, 2019, 11:37 PM IST
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Methinks politics is like a disease. It seems to get madder by the day. So, going by the way the Big Jumla Party is maraoing their own, one doesn’t know who is next in the firing line. First, they chadhao their blue-eyed boy, who has been threatening to return, every time saying 'Me punha yein'. Speaking of which, have you watched those watermelon games? One with the NCP fans dancing away merrily like in ‘Sairat’ and the other with the now ill-famed slogan? Aai shappat, stomach has begun paining.

Then the pained man, like the missus, quotes Hindi verse on how he is the sea and will return to the shore. The smart-aleck government has pushed him to Sagar-kinare. Such funny things. Suchay fun this whole forming the government is, actually I am NOT missing the ex-CM as much as his missus...shhhh did you see her teeny weeny chin? Ladeez, her face is looking rather stretched, whiter than before, which has forced her mister’s rivals to forward before and after pictures of her. The missus who has become chinless, sacchi-mucchi, has undergone full makeover and just keeps pasting her chinless photus in every tweet or update. In case out-of-sight-out-of-mind happens, she ensures you will remember her. She too has threatened to return, big-time palat maraoing at that. Scary couple, wielding threats.

Missus quoted a Hindi couplet, “Palat ke aaungi shaakhon pe khushbuyein lekar...” Tweeple told straight, “Mud mud ke na dekh mud mud ke...” Such fun times, I tell you. Me actually likes her, at least a break from her boring mister’s political coterie. I am told he was busy going to a famous Babaji for ‘shanti’. Some Shani, Rahu ka chakkar, pre-ordained.

Talking of their Big Jumla Party, the ease with which they promised to bring back crores and crores of rupees, they must have only got lost with the calculations. Now latest in their zero jumla is the Rs.40,000 crore. I am toh lost counting, forget imagining the amount and where to store. How one politician from the same party at the Centre says money has been taken away from the state, while we taxpayers are obviously clueless. Also, have these politicians ever come out on streets? One defends mob lynching, another slams. Then a so-called reasonably intelligent actor, Jayaben, matriarch of Bollywood, defends lynching. Psst, can someone tell them, they live in a bubble. Let it not burst. Sad, sad such wasted, talented and chair in Parliament. Will our politicians stop appeasing these Bollywood namunas, pliss. Let them live in their imaginary world, as they give impetus to killings in the real world.

Meanwhile, I hope Bhidebai is not having to take sleeping pills. I can hear her hum, “Neend na mujhko aaye, dil mera ghabraaye...” Let no hathoda fall on her post at midnight. But you never know, those trees may just be wanting some badla.

This straight shooter likes to tell it as it is.

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