The word mother signifies sacrifices in your career, and the sacrifice of your sleep and your favourite food and also watching your favourite channel!
I am a mother of two children who are from different generations. My elder daughter is 28 while my other child is only nine-years-old. So, I have mothered two very different generations! When my daughter lived with me my word was final. Now she lives with her father (my first husband). But for my younger daughter, everything has to be explained before she accepts it.
Being a mother at a very young age was beautiful because I didn’t go into it with preconceived notions. I gave birth to Zianne when I was 21-years-old and it was a most delightful experience; I had so much energy! Also, I had the best support system and was blessed with a very open minded household. Everyone fawned over my daughter, she was a doll.
I think one piece of advice I want to give young moms is to not overdo the mothering; you are not the only one who has had a child. Your life does not begin and end with children. You should make them feel that they are secure and have a solid foundation. The lives of young mothers today are mostly centred on their children; they have put their children on a pedestal. So, when these kids are exposed to the real world they are unprepared. Our previous generation was much chilled out around kids; the family went around its business after a child was born.
But it doesn’t really matter how young or old you are, as you embrace motherhood, you learn to do things selflessly, your child's needs come before your own. I think between the father and the mother, children are closer to the mother largely because nurturing and nesting instincts are a part of the mother's DNA. A mother listens and tries to understand what the children are going through. She is there with them even when they forget their books for the nth time in school or lose their ID badge, or spill their food.
I believe in pampering my children and ensuring that they have a good time because you only get to live these moments once. While they recognise when I am being serious, they don’t take my yelling at them seriously. But I have always made a conscious effort to be polite under all circumstances, and these days I am having a greater success rate in that than ever! I am succeeding. I strongly believe that conversation is the key to resolving any issue or diffusing any situation, and I have always kept room for conversations. My kids should be able to talk it out with me, whatever be the matter. Children are like monkeys! They ape you. Children learn by watching their parents; and hence how you behave in front of them counts.
(Actor Tannaz Irani married early. By 21, she was a mother of a girl she doted on. She named her Zianne. Today Zianne is 28 while Tannaz’s son Zeus is 13 and her second daughter Zara is 9. Though there is a yawning gap between the age of Zianne and Zara, Tannaz has been able to straddle the generation gap as a mother.)
As told to Anita Raheja-Heena Agarwal
