Friend Asking For Intimate Services? Expert's Advice To Solve Relationship Problems

Friend Asking For Intimate Services? Expert's Advice To Solve Relationship Problems

Dr Aman Rajan BhonsleUpdated: Sunday, October 22, 2023, 03:34 AM IST
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I have two female best friends who keep mocking me about being sexually inexperienced. As a man, I feel like my reputation is at stake. One of them recently texted me at night saying that she will sleep with me if I give her some money. I don’t know if this is a joke or if she is being serious. I feel so confused. Please help.  

Whether presented in jest or seriousness, are you comfortable with the idea of receiving payment for providing sexual services? While those with more conventional views might argue the moral pitfalls and departure from societal norms in earning a livelihood, I pose a question: Are you content with treating your body as a commodity, subject to commercial transactions? Banter is typical among friends, and it's essential to determine whether you can dismiss it with a laugh or if you prefer to make it clear that you won't tolerate mockery. When someone suggests that your reputation as a man is on the line, it implies a peculiar notion that you must defend your gender through argumentation. I would recommend leaving such examinations to medical professionals who determined your gender at birth, as indicated on your birth certificate. Resist letting societal roles dictate your reactions; remember that every aspect of life involves choices, each leading to different paths. Your level of sexual experience isn't a competition, and there's no likelihood of any government or official social recognition based on your sexual history. These aspects of life don't require a scorecard; they simply require practice, passion and a willing partner to bring with it the required pleasure.

I sent a partially nude photo of myself to a guy in my class when we were dating. He has circulated that image to all his friends and they no longer talk to me any more. I feel alone and like I won’t ever find love again. What should I do?

Sharing a partially nude photo with a classmate may have suggested that you're comfortable with your body being the object of fantasy, speculation, and voyeuristic tendencies. People often distance themselves from individuals they perceive as immoral, unpredictable, too different, or challenging to understand in a socio-cultural context. It's important to note that you don't need to rush into finding love on a strict timeline. Love is not something one simply stumbles upon; it is a gradual process built, nurtured, and co-created with someone whose temperament aligns with yours. This person shares your values and seeks to be an active and joyful part of your life journey as your companion. The initial step toward finding a suitable match involves expanding your social circle. This can be achieved by engaging in various activities, hobbies, classes, and pursuits that allow you to meet new people and broaden your social influence. One could argue that the concept of finding love is deeply rooted in effective networking skills, something that schools may have neglected to teach and our hesitations have hindered us from mastering. If you're facing harassment due to the image you sent, it may be worth seeking assistance from the appropriate authorities at your school or within the legal realm. However, be prepared to hear concerns about "moral behaviour" because sending revealing photos is generally frowned upon as it can be seen as inappropriate. Stay strong, and consider this a valuable learning experience.

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