The test of marriage is tolerance. The test of parenting is values. The test of leadership is inspiration. And the test of friendship is time. When a potter knocks an unbaked pot, it cracks; when time knocks at an unripe friendship it shatters. Making a pot is easy, but preserving it till it reaches its destination is difficult; making friendship is easy, but maintaining it over a long haul of time is difficult.
Adversities are times when one looks toward old relationships for relief. In the excitement of newfound relationships, often old ones are buried deep in the dusty memory lanes. With the advent of adversities in life, a man begins to gaze at all his relationships like a beggar pitifully scanning for a compassionate soul to relieve him of his hunger.
In the search engines of our minds, such times often throw up names of old friends as search results. But unfortunately one tends to use friends as garbage bags to toss in his problems of life. And naturally once the garbage bag is full, one looks for another to replace the present one.
Many a times, friendship is eaten away in the quest for relief from our frustrations. Before expecting to be a good friend to others, one needs to be a good friend to oneself. If one is not satisfied with himself, one tends to look at everyone else as possible tools for satisfying one’s needs.
Cultivating friendship is like growing a plant. It grows to the extent it is watered. When a friendship is revisited after ages, it remains at the exact same level in which it was when it was last watered. Unfortunately people expect friendship to grow with age, as if time has been auto-watering them.
In the Mahabharata, the saga of the tragic expectation-driven friendship between Drona and Drupada is graphically described. Both of them studied in the same gurukul during their childhood and had developed a very deep friendship. Drupada loved Drona so much that he once even promised to give half his kingdom to him when he became the king.
The childhood promises were forgotten and both continued in the journey of life as destiny had willed. Drupada went on to become a powerful king of the Panchala province and Drona went on to become a poor brahmana who lived by begging. The sight of the pitiable plight of his son Ashwattama struggling with the basic needs of life, unable to even get a cup of milk, brought tears to Drona’s eyes.
He decided to revive his old friendship with Drupada and seek his help. He straightaway walked to the now King Drupada and reminded him of his childhood promise and requested him for half the share of the kingdom. The natural defense mechanism of king Drupada came into action and he reacted violently at Drona’s impudent request. Far too many people come to exploit powerful leaders by using the tactic of reviving such old forsaken relationships.
He said that promises made in childhood were not to be taken seriously. Dead relationships cannot be revived. If Drona wanted some charity, he should humbly accept the charity of a cow that the king was ready to offer. Drona left fuming in anger, promising to come back to seek revenge.
