Question: Why is it that love and marriage often create the maximum conflict between people?
Sadhguru: Man and woman are physically kind of opposite. Nature has made us this way to facilitate the process of reproduction. Every cell in your body, including your brain cells, is taken over by hormones and propels you in the direction of reproduction and perpetuation of the species. It takes enormous intelligence for a person to rise beyond that. Once this compulsion arises, the mind naturally turns to figuring out how to get the best out of it.
Society teaches you that to be smart is to give less and take more. Whether it is a marketplace or a marriage, it is the same calculation. This is why there is so much talk about love: When you are emotionally overwhelmed by someone, you transcend the calculation, and giving becomes more important than taking.
When a man and woman have this level of emotional intensity, they will have a beautiful relationship. Otherwise, it just becomes a give-and-take. You do give-and-take in business and with many other people, but those transactions are limited. In a marriage, there is a constant give-and-take with this particular person, so you may feel like you are being used. Once this feeling arises, it leads to endless conflict. Physical, emotional, and other aspects of sharing and living together become a struggle.
If it were just about money and other material things, you could settle it somehow. But especially because the body is involved, one can easily feel used; so there is conflict.
So, what is the solution? Stop being a man or woman 24 hours of the day. There are certain situations in life where you need to be a man or a woman. When the situation calls for it, you can play your role. The rest of the time, you can simply be, walk, and live as a piece of life. Then, there will be no conflict. Two human beings will live together very well.
“Man” and “woman” are two compulsions. The more identified you are with your sexuality, the more compulsive you become; and naturally, there will be trouble.
If you do not identify too much with your womanhood or manhood and just live as a piece of life, you will see that being a man or woman is such a minor part of your life. You do not have to structure your life around it. So much of your potential will find expression when you are not too identified with your sexuality. You can become so much more creative and capable in ways that you could not even imagine.
Question: What is the significance of Mahashivratri?
Sadhguru: The 14th day of every month is known as Shivaratri. Mahashivratri is the most powerful of the 12 Shivaratris in a year, celebrating the grace of Shiva. The word “Shiva” literally means “that which is not.” Science says that everything came from nothing and will go back into nothing. In their own language, scientists are saying that Shiva holds everything together. If you look at the sky, you will see many stars, but the biggest presence is still the vast emptiness. This emptiness – the very basis of creation – is referred to as “Shiva.”
On Mahashivratri, the planetary positions, especially in the northern hemisphere, create a natural upsurge of energy in the human system. This makes it easier to move one’s energies upwards. To facilitate this, one should keep the spine vertical. Hence, there is the tradition of staying awake throughout this night.
Shiva is referred to as “Tryambaka” because he has a third eye, the eye of inner vision. The two eyes all human beings have are sensory organs, feeding the mind with impressions of the physical world. They just see what is on the surface. So one has to open another eye, an eye of deeper penetration.
Knowing does not arise from reading books or listening to someone, nor from simply acquiring information. Knowing involves opening up a new vision of life. For true knowing, the third eye has to open. This brings a clarity that no amount of philosophies can provide, a clarity that no situation can distort. On Mahashivratri, that possibility becomes easily accessible.
(Sadhguru is a Yogi, mystic, visionary and a New York Times bestselling author. He is also the founder of Conscious Planet – Save Soil)
