Sappy, irritated
I’ve been married for the past 7 years now. My husband and I shared a good relationship with each other. However, lately my husband has started getting very snappy and irritated with me. The only time he is not like that is during physical intimacy. Apart from that, he is always on the edge and I’m always worried that he might snap at me any moment. He wasn’t ever like that and it’s hampering our relationship. I don’t even know how I should ask him or talk to him about it since the last time I tried talking to him regarding the same, he screamed at me and we ended up having a fight. Please help.
Ans: you need to bring to his notice about the severity of the issue, even if he gets upset. From what you express it sounds like he might be suffering from some kind of psychological stress and hence must be losing his cool quite often. You can seek someone elderly person in the family or any close friend’s help for doing the same. Suggest to him if you’ll can visit a counsellor and sort his worries out, as well as help you’ll with mending your relationship, because there might be something’s on his mind which he may be reluctant to share with you but talking to a third person may help him. You need to process this soon as waiting may make things worse.
Procrastination
I have a very bad habit of procrastinating. I just don’t feel like taking up a new task till the last minute when it is absolutely necessary for me to do it. This has landed me into trouble a number of times. Once, due to my laid back nature, I almost did not complete the work assignment I was supposed to. Also, at the last minute, there is so much pressure that the task I do is not up to the mark and most of the times is mediocre in quality. I tried using a diary and an organizer to help me rid of this habit; it worked only for a week and I was back to square one. Is there anything I can do to change this part of me?
Ans: You need to be determined to change your attitude and take action. This kind of attitude will only cause more and more problems for you. You are probably suffering from ADHD (attention deficit hyperactive disorder) where a person finds it difficult to stay focused and paying attention. Symptoms include- having trouble in completing or turning in assignments or tasks , have difficulty in maintaining or focusing on a task, becoming bored of a task easily, being easily distracted , forgetting things etc. If you think you might be suffering from this it can be treated by visiting a psychologist or psychiatrist.
Hang-up on Ex
I’m a 17 year old girl. I am dating a guy since 2 years. In the beginning of our relationship, I found out through sources that he still had feelings for his ex-girlfriend. But after a lot of conflict and discussions, we decided to continue our relationship without it coming between us. It has been 2 years now, and I know I shouldn’t be thinking about it as an issue, but it still bothers me and it is hard for me to get it out of my mind.
Ans: It’s very natural to think about it but at the same time you need to be able to trust him. You should talk to him about this issue and clear it out for yourself since you are assuming things and its clearly bothering you even after you’ve been together since two years and are yet having difficulties about forgetting and moving on from this situation. The best way is to just talk to him and to be able to build that trust.
Extra-marital affair
Hi, I am in a big dilemma. I know this couple who have been married for 5 years now. They, husband and wife both, are my very good friends. However, I’ve come to know that the husband is having an affair with another girl (who also happens to be a friend of mine). Their affair was a very well kept secret and no one else knows about it. The other girl is now on the verge of getting married and has promised that she will have nothing to do with this married guy from now on. Should I trust her or not, should I keep mum about this affair and let it die a natural death or should I inform the wife. I do not wish to see her in pain and feel that she shouldn’t be told as the affair eventually fades with time and let her live in blissful ignorance.
Ans: like it is said ignorance is bliss, this affair does not have only two people involved anymore. The couple has dragged not only themselves but you’ll and their respective spouse into this complex situation. If the cat is out of the bag it won’t be only your friend who gets hurt you will be keeping everyone’s happiness at stake. It’s best that you shove it under the carpet. Some white lies is good if you are protecting some loved ones from feeling hurt and it is best that you let it fade away probably with time it will be forgotten. I suppose you can trust your friend now since she has taken a decision to marry and move on with her partner. People make mistakes at the spur of a moment and they can be given a second chance if they want to show signs of improvements. Let go but be prepared if ever your friend finds out she will be upset with you too and she has all the right to, but if you get to explain that you were just trying to protect her and that you believed it was a onetime mistake she might forgive you too. Be patient with her then.
