I am a classical singer and have been learning and training at an institute for the past nine years. It has been an amazing journey so far in terms of my personal growth. However, I have noticed in the past few months that few of the senior members are trying to assert their seniority by laying down rules that are unrealistic and ridiculous. I am quite unhappy about this and don’t feel as connected to the institute anymore. What can I do?
Ans: It sounds from your description that there happens to be a difference of thought process as well as the morals between you and your institute. The disconnect is, thus, a result of both, the differences as well as the subtle disbelief. You could speak to your senior most member or your mentor about this as more you let it linger on, it might start affecting your craft as well. In case that doesn’t work out well, looking elsewhere for training, a place which aligns with your thinking could help.
I was a bank clerk for a large part of my working career. I saved good amount of money as well as I have no one in my family except my mother. She passed away last month due to long term health issues. I am now alone with no immediate family as support. I feel quite lonely and sad on most days. I have tried to talk to my colleagues about this, but that doesn’t seem to help. I am fed up of feeling this way. How do I feel normal again?
Ans: I am sorry for your loss. I can only imagine your state of mind at present with no one close to share the same. Now the need to feel normal often stems from a sense of frustration and hopelessness. You could attend few grief counselling group sessions to begin with in order to help you not only grieve for your mother, but also connect with those who are going through similar pain as you are. Grieving is a gradual process and it will take a little while to start feeling normal again. Thus, seek help from a support group so that you feel heard and less lonely.
I belong to a conservative family and also first generation to enter college. There was a huge fight at my house for me to be able to make it to college. I have now completed my education and looking for a job. They are insisting I look for a job close to home so that they can call me back. I have bargained for a few months, but I am running out of time. I feel suffocated just at the thought of going home. I have started drinking due to stress. Please help as I don’t want to go down a destructive path.
Ans: You have insight into your problem, which is what we call winning half the battle. Now, focusing on how to resolve this problem would entail: finding a job, becoming financially independent of your family so that they have less control over your life and decisions. Entrust the responsibility onto one of your close friends to steer you away from alcohol and also by avoiding to drink alone. Along with all these you can also have regular conversations with your family expressing your desire to stay away at least for a while so that they know you are serious about the process and aren’t just acting out.