Being dark skinned
I am an 8th standard girl and I am dark skinned. I do not have many friends as everyone in my class is fair and so nobody wants to make friends with me. I have told my mother that I do not want to go to school as everybody gossips about me behind my back and they all giggle when they see me walk past them. They call me names which at times are very hurtful, it make me cry silently everyday and I really feel ashamed about my skin colour. What do I do?
Ans: It can be very depressing definitely when someone makes fun of your appearance, well but that is what others want, to put you down so they feel good about themselves. When someone is repeatedly pointing your weakness it is simply because they know that it’s your wound and they would rub on just to get you upset, just so that you back off and they stand out in comparison. The truth is that even you accept it as your weakness. If they comment and ridicule you and if it simply doesn’t affect you they will not be able to achieve what they want. Hard enough but you just have to go with the flow and either laugh along so it becomes a stale joke after a point of time or just simply ignore and pretend it doesn’t affect you. this way you are making sure that this will not continue for long and once the stop getting their desired reaction from you they will stop bothering you. You have to be strong and face this on your own, you cannot change what is naturally giving to you but you have to be comfortable in your skin and learn to show that to the world that you are fine and instead proud to flaunt it, with many other good features god has gifted you with.
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N ot ‘cool’ enough
I am a college student from a very small town and a conservative family. I am now in a city college where the culture is completely different. I am finding it difficult to make friends because I am not ‘cool’ enough. I want to be accepted in this society and the other day I spent some time with the girls who smoke outside college. It felt good spending some time with them as it finally seemed that I am making friends. However, I do not know if I am going the right way. I know my parents will be disappointed with me, but if I do not make friends here then I will really have a tough time in college and I may even end up being depressed. What do I do?
Ans: When you start spending too much time in a filthy sticking place initially you will be bothered by the smell, but gradually your sense of smell accepts it and you get used to it. Similarly when you spend time with people having bad habits in the beginning you will feel your conscious biting you and asking you to stay away, however as the time passes by you won’t realize that you begin to smell the same, as your mind starts accepting it to be normal. It is essential that you make friends and they are of utmost importance for you social growth, however a friendship that is socially drowning you will not be worth of your affection. However, if for time being, you want to just hang out with these friends then you must be firm about your preferences. If you do not wish to share the bad habits that they have then you should learn to put your foot down and learn to say NO. Nobody and pressure you to make self harming decision. Be assertive with your choices and is they are your good friends they will respect your decision. Avoid doing thing that goes against your principles just to feel accepted, or else you are forming an impression that you do not respect yourself and will do what others say just to feel wanted, and it’s better to have no friends than those who will take advantage of your weakness.
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Salvaging marriage
I am 3 months pregnant, but I am not sure if I want the baby. My husband and I have been quarrelling every day since the past month and things just keep on getting worse. I do not want to ruin the future of my unborn child. Hence, I need to know how to take this forward. I am mentally disturbed and I have not been able to sleep. I maybe sure that my husband is not the man I can live with for a long time.
Ans: When you are pregnant you are bound to have mood swings and emotional phases, it’s these drastic hormonal changes that may cause you to end up in fights and negative thoughts. Explain this to your husband and have a good conversation about how you really feel or may be with someone older in the family or someone close to you who can be a good support. Give sometime as having a baby is a big change in life mostly positive and this event may in fact help you’ll bond well as parents. You are right if you are considering the repercussion of your conflicting relationship on your baby, they may upset the child’s up brining and overall development. If your husbands and your relationship is sour, you must think about your child’s future and mend your current relationship. Seek help to recover your relationship, everything can be work upon if both are willing to show the affection and wish for the child’s best care.
