Disturbed married life
My wife is currently in the middle of switching jobs. She got an offer which not only pays her well but requires her to travel a lot. When she leaves for work its early morning and late night when she returns. This is causing great deal of friction amongst us as we are getting less time to spend with each other. I don’t want to discourage her by asking her to manage the work hours better as she is doing everything possible. Her work post is such that it has immense pressure. I am not sure how we can get back the peace at home.
Ans: Your support to your wife would mean a lot to her. Rather than investing time in arguing over the fact that her timings are causing issues, sitting down and having conversations about the same would help resolve the matters. You both could consider options of shifting houses, closer to her workplace so that the commute is lesser and she can spend more time with you. Since you know that shifting job isn’t an option and her job demands that much of dedication, moving closer to the workplace may seem to be a viable option. Also, is she could get an option of work from home once in a while, she could reduce the work at office and work at flexible timings from home.
Rigid views
I am a 36-year-old woman working in an architectural firm. I am a lesbian and few people from work know about this. Recently, there was a discussion taking place during lunch and it got diverted to sexual orientations. I realised that there are so many who still hold very rigid and staunch beliefs about natural and unnatural behaviour; anxiety set in me regarding how would they see me if they know about my sexual orientation. I am distracted most of the times and very cautious of my actions. This behaviour is raising suspicion and people are asking me if I am doing well. I don’t want to be centre of attraction. What can I do?
Ans: One’s sexual orientation is a personal choice. The normality around it is yet to set in due to various factors. But this no way is to discourage you and imply that things must be accepted the way they are. If you are worried about what others would say when they know about your orientation and judge you for your preference, then not being associated with those people seems a better option. You are being anxious and cautious isn’t working in your favour as well. Accepting yourself for who you are will reduce the effect of what others would think and believe about you.
Restrictive work environment
I graduated from a good B-school early this year. I got a placement in a company that people recommend being one of the best ones to work for. I started off well, but lately have realised that the work profile isn’t something I would want to continue doing for the rest of my life. My specialisation doesn’t allow me to venture out due to specific company codes. It has been just seven months in this company. I am not sure quitting is something I should be looking at. Please advise.
Ans: The work environment if restrictive might lead to a hindrance in growth and learning. If you find yourself in this stage where growth and learning isn’t taking place at the rate at which you want it or the way you want it then venturing into a workplace that provides the same should be considered. also take into consideration the expectation reality so that you know for sure that your expectations may be met elsewhere. The idea of quitting within 7 months doesn’t have to reflect your skills which might be mediocre; if you are sure about the goals, and your confidence is reflected, things could turn out in your favour.
Ego clashes
I hosted a party at my workplace last year, which was a great success. This year too my superiors hinted at me taking up the job. I am part time event planner and these events give me enough opportunity to better my skills. There has been a new entrant at the workplace who is also an enthusiast when it comes to planning events. He has heard about me and my last year’s party planning. He came up to me and requested to be on board in planning for this year’s party. I agreed but now repenting as he is very dominating as an individual to work with. I am failing at creating a harmonious balance.
Ans: The clash seems to be between the egos and who is better than whom. In order to resolve this, assertiveness from your end is essential. you are feeling dominated by him and to make him realize this without coming across as defensive is important. You both could divide the work amongst each other depending on your individual skills and also seeking help in areas of experience. This could help in establishing a healthy work atmosphere between the two of you. The focus should be the event and not on who can up the other.
