Agony Aunt helps you to deal with the problems in professional life

Don’t want to give up job

I am a 37 year old married woman. I am working at a PR company and I love my job. I have worked there for 5 years now. My mother-in-law has fallen ill a few times now due to her old age and now she and my husband insist that I stay at home to look after her. There are many things wrong with this scenario. Firstly, I have always been a working woman and do not want to give up my job to look after her. Secondly, I have never been the housewife type of woman and cannot do that work. I wish they would understand this. I know staying at home to look after her is important but I also don’t want to give up my job. I don’t know how to cope with this and would really like your help.

Ans: You are juggling between the thing you must do, what is expected out of you and what you want to do, your desires. Striking a balance between them is very important; you need to make a decision based on what is your priority. It is important that you listen to your heart and go along your will as that will make you happy, however at time in certain situation you may have to postpone your desires  and consider your role that you have to play, even if that is of a daughter-in-law. This means you need not quit your goals completely but push it for a while, until your mother-in-law is fine and recovered probably. Mean while you can try to ask your employer if you can be allowed work from home or even part-time work, so that you can continue with your bit of work at the same time you can take care of your responsibilities. Running away from house work is not logical, even if you are living alone a minimal of house management one has to learn, it may seem difficult but you will get used to it. It is not rocket science and additionally you can hire house help to manage the major labour work. Take it up as a challenge and plan you future with work and home balance.

Setting limits

I am a 20 year old. I want to go abroad to pursue my studies but my parents are against it. It is not because they cannot afford it. We are a well off family and my older sister has gone abroad to study. I don’t understand why they are reluctant to send me. They keep setting limits for me saying that only if I score a certain number in my exam will they consider it. This has really started to stress me out as they keep stalling on making a decision and I feel like they are being unfair towards me. I don’t know how to deal with this uncertainty and I really want to go abroad to pursue my education. Please help me.

Ans: you need to have a proper conversation with your parents. Clearly there is a hidden reason as to why they are against sending you abroad, while they were okay about the same with your sister. Stay calm and think wisely what can be the reason. Probably they feel you may not be able to cope well and may not do justice to your course, hence they are asking you to perform up to certain standards here and only then they can make up their minds. While another reason can be that your sisters course abroad they somehow managed to pay financially on the contrary your course may be out of their budget and thus making then hesitate to assure you. Whatever the matter no parent will feel nice about being a hurdle in their children’s growth especially if it is educational, hence there has to be a concrete reason for their denial. Talk to them and peacefully get a solution to this problem .

Second thoughts

I am a 28 year old working man. I have a steady well paid job. I also have a degree in acting and initially wanted to pursue it as a career but my parents weren’t very supportive of that. They encouraged the classes but do not want me pursuing it full time. Recently, I have been having a lot of second thoughts about my job and I feel like I can do well in acting. The acting jobs in the beginning do not pay that well and they aren’t that many. It is an unpredictable job but one that I am willing to take a risk for. My parents expect me to take care of them but that won’t be possible with acting. I don’t know what to do and would really like your help.

Ans: It is rare but very fortunate that a person finds a passions and that is also their way of income. You should definitely follow your passion for acting, especially if you are ready to face all its negative consequences too. Never the less you cannot ignore your parent’s feelings and thus you must avoid making an impulsive change in your field of work. It is fair enough that they need financial security presently and that they expect from you as you are their provider, and that is the reason you will have to create a balance here. You may continue to work in this company for a while till you have some amount of good savings, try to budget your coming months so you can save up sooner. Once you think you have enough saving for your parents future by investing into some insurances or assets, you can quit this and pursue your acting career. This way you may have to wait for a while but you will eventually get to do what you want and be happy with your work.

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