Daunting Mother
My family is very enthusiastic and very pressurising in the process. My mother constantly pushes me to do things I am not comfortable with due to my anxiety. They are never satisfied with my grades which are often one of the highest ones in the class. My brother is an extrovert and very assertive in his approach to everything. I am however very passive and an extreme introvert. I am not outgoing or daring. I do not like doing plays or speeches. My mother does not acknowledge that I may have an anxiety disorder. How should I talk to them about it and convince them to let me see a doctor?
Ans: You can cite the symptoms of your anxiety and give them an understanding as to why you so strongly feel that its anxiety disorder. But before doing that, seek a consultation at your school/college if there is any availability of a counsellor or search online for consultation and get a proper diagnosis. Once you have a backing of a professional, it would then be easier for your parents to come to understand your condition.
Missing that ‘one’ friend
My best friend and I used to be part of one of the more popular groups at school. We soon realised that they were just using us in the sense that we did their homework while they played with the other kid and we took the blame for their faults. We exited the group and cut connections with them. We recently had a fight and hadn’t spoken for about a week. One of the girls from her class came and told me that she had re-joined the group that the both of us hated. I am very disappointed and I really miss her. Her actions prove that she has already replaced me. What to do?
Ans: Communicating with your friend and getting a clarity as to why she decided to be a part of that group can help you make a better judgement about her actions. Your hurt and disappointment in her may cloud how you look at her at present. Rather than carrying that grudge against her, settle it once and for all so that you know for sure that you weren’t replaced.
Being friend zoned
I have been talking to this boy for quite some time now. We have become fairly close. We meet almost every day. I have developed a feeling for him. He is unaware of this. He thinks of me as a friend and says that he would not like to be in a relation at this point in time as he is still not over his last relationship. However, everyone says that he has feelings for me too. How do I find out if this is true and what to do next?
Ans: Often others comments on how someone likes or has a feeling for you might be biased. Thus, a sure shot way to find out what the other person actually feels is to ask the person himself. But as you mentioned that he needs time to recover from his past relationship then do give him that time as it will only benefit your friendship and any possibility of a future relationship. Be there for him and make sure to convey that your feelings run deeper for him than merely that of a friend but gradually.
Issues of an introvert
I have stayed in the comfort of one school since the beginning of my education experience. This school is amazing and has played a huge role in shaping my personality but now the time has come for me to leave it. I have got admission in a new school but the thought of going there is very stressful to me. I get very anxious in social situations and meeting all new people and trying to fit into a whole new set of people is not too easy for me. Can someone who has shifted schools a lot of times tell me how to deal with the stress and pressure of the other peers?
Ans: Being uprooted and placed in a different environment does bring about a lot of learning but so does being in one environment. You realize that it’s your comfort feeling which might raise the anxiety because that will change in a new environment. However, looking at this opportunity to broaden your comfort level may help rather than looking at it as a complete change. You have to find your comfort zone in a new environment rather than adjusting to the new people or trying to fit in. This will bring down the stress level as well.
