Choosing between wife and mother
I am a 30 year old man and I have been married for 2 years now. My wife is really nice and she gets along well with everyone in the family. The only problem is my mother. As an only child, my mother has always focused all her energies and attention on me and raising me. Now, she is unable to let go of the reins and let my wife help me. My wife loves to cook but my mother insists that she do the cooking herself when it comes to my lunchbox in office. I love my mother and don’t want to hurt her but I also understand that my wife would like to take care of my needs and help my mother. Please help me as I don’t know how to broach this subject with either of them and don’t want to hurt any of them.
Ans: It is important for you to make your wife and your mother feel important and loved by you. They both are right in their own views and space, but it is your responsibility to make them both feel loved. You have to make your mother realize that she has a special place in your heart and make your wife feel that she is precious to you. You have to keep 3 things in mind when it is about your mother and wife. Firstly, try to strike a balance between both and talk to them about sharing their responsibility. Probably, you can keep both happy by asking them to cook for you on different days. You should also remember to refrain from comparing their food. Lastly, and most importantly always remember to give equal importance to both in your life and do not make the other feel less needed because this can cause more arguments amongst them.
Also Read : Agony Aunt helps you to deal with problems in personal relationships
Chasing own commitment
I am a very obedient student and I have been working extremely hard since I enrolled myself for engineering. Initially, I could do it and cope with my studies but then I started losing interest due the vast and dry portion. Despite this, I still kept going as I wanted to make a career in the same. However, overtime I feel my performance has declined and I am loosing concentration too. My family has invested a lot of money in my education and I really want to make them proud by becoming an engineer. How do I maintain my pace and keep going in order to finish my course with contentment?
Ans: Engineering courses can get a little difficult to keep up with especially in terms of its length and the intensity of work that it requires, but if you are interested in the course you can swim through it, as the difficulty will bother you if you feel it’s drag and that you aren’t interested in it any more. In such a situation you can feel very frustrated as instead of being something that you want to do, it flips to something you are suppose to do only because you know it s good for you. At this stage, it is obvious that your performance will drop, as what you need here is a motivational switch. What you can do is follow your passion something very deviant from engineering that will give you a good break from the monotony, like music, art, or anything that will help you think beside your work. Also what you can do is extend a student help in your college as this will give you an added reason to keep going with your coursework and restive your work periodically as this will give you a good excuse to thorough your work, for instance helping a junior or helping your professor with additional tutorials. Think of a couple of innovative things that can give you a push to keep going with your course like getting an internship or part time job may not be related to engineering but this will help you from the basic one track course.
Read More : Agony Aunt helps you to deal with the problems in relationships
Lacking togetherness with child
I am a single mother working full time. I often feel that I don’t spend enough time with my ten year old daughter. Since I am single I must work to support us. My daughter is growing so fast and I feel very guilty and sad that I missing out on crucial moments of her life. These are important years in our bonding period and important memories that we both will share. She has also started becoming more vocal about me not being there always and it is affecting me emotionally. Please help me as I don’t know what to do.
Ans: Your efforts will be worth the appreciation, as you not only play the role of a mother but you try to fit in for the father at times too. It’s a tough job no doubt, but it’s true as well that you must spend time with your daughter, despite your busy schedule. Your child’s precious years will not repeat once they pass by, so it’s vital that you spend quality time more than quantity time, and you need to be thoughtful about doing this and try to squeeze out as much time as possible for her, as this will not only make her feel contented but also know that you are mostly around when she needs you. How you can do this is probably think of ways that you can spend with her that is fun for both of you. For instance, help her engage into a passion that initially you both can do together and probably later on she can continue with that hobby while you sit with her and do your own work. You can also take her for outdoor activities like playgrounds, swimming and skating or may be even just a walk on the beach, at times you can accompany her into the activities but other times when you loads of work you can carry your work on the smart phones or laptop and continue while she has a good time on her own too. You can also involve her in your work at times, work that is simple like may be she helps you in cooking or cleaning or even simple bank work or filing and more, this will make her feel important and give her a sense of responsibility. Make sure you have good communication everyday with her and you assure her that you are always ready to talk. As a mother you will do your best and just stay connected with her.
