Over centuries, mothers are seen as superhumans to be put on a pedestal irrespective of their personal choices. This emotion is carried even today in an age of working mothers. Is this status a boon or bane? It is time to find out.
Their views
Mommy blogger Debasmita Mukherjee is mother to 16-month-old Priyanshi Mukherjee. She firmly believes in the adage that god couldn’t be everywhere therefore he made mothers. "Going with the society norms, this pedestal can be a source of admiration as well as pressure. At the end of the day, mothers are also normal human beings, having their own emotional and physical ups and downs.”
Rajni Daswani, Director of Digital Marketing at SoCheers and a mother of a two-and-a-half-year-old daughter, thinks, this tag goes both ways. "A lot of mothers who do things that only a superhuman could do, without help and support, may not be put on a pedestal and vice versa. Conversation overall should be about just providing more support to mothers because they seem to put on the hats of a mother, a wife, a daughter/daughter-in-law, and her role at work. Moms need a stronger support system, not a pedestal.”
Payal Nambiar, the founder and CEO of B Square, is the mother of 21-year-old Ayush and 15-year-old Yashnita. She thinks mothers are elevated to superhuman status for their nurturing and sacrificing behaviour. "They are expected to work in accordance to whole family throughout the day and they are also expected to earn as much as the men to run the family. Hence, women need to cultivate strength in mind and possess an internal response in a phase of significant challenges and enlarging joys of motherhood with determination and grace, shaping their narratives along the way.”
Personal stand
Rajni doesn’t take these labels seriously. “I do the best I can do at work and at home, that’s my benchmark. My priorities of what I need to bring into my work role and what I need to bring to my child as a mother are quite clear and I hold myself to those benchmarks.”
Debasmita, a stay-at-home mom, sees the superhuman tag as a burden. "Professional commitments, meeting deadlines, and household chores (in short fulfilling everyone’s needs) add up to our emotional conditions. And not being able to cope with all these at the same time, ‘fails’ us to regulate our own emotions.”
Neeja Shah Goswami, CEO of Whiskers India and a mother to a 14-year-old daughter, too agrees that the expectations from mothers are quite unreal to a great extent. “Now that we have mothers choosing careers along with family, it’s almost humanly impossible for them to do everything they are expected to do. Having set these unrealistic expectations, it is just too convenient for society. High time we acknowledge limitations and encourage participation from family for her to pursue her career and raise a family.”
Irrespective of the working or stay-at-home status, Payal sees the role of a mother as a blessing. She feels good time management and planning are the keys to work and family balance. "Through adept scheduling and prioritisation, I ensure that both professional commitments and family needs are met. A robust support system comprising family, friends, and perhaps child care assistance, further facilitates this balancing act. Successfully navigating the dual roles of motherhood and career not only fulfils personal aspirations but also sets a formidable example for my children. It instils in them the values of resilience, determination, and the importance of achieving a harmonious work-life balance, thus preparing them for their future endeavours.”
Present situation
Neeja focuses on the mother’s guilt carried by working mothers. “You just have to know how to be present while at work and need a strong support system at home for your child.”
Payal feels the present times require a smart mom. “As technology advances, mothers must stay vigilant, constantly monitoring their children’s digital activities. Mothers must guide their children to navigate the digital world safely, ensuring their online experiences are positive and constructive.”
Rajni’ wants motherhood seen as a beautiful turn in the mother’s life changing them in many ways. "I don’t think anyone wants to be seen as ‘Hey look I’m pulling the weight of four people at work and home'. They just want the assurance that they are doing the best they can in the cards they’ve been dealt.”
Debasmita believes in equal parenting and sharing the load. “It is not only a mother’s duty to raise a child and look after the home, it is also the duty of the father. If my husband wins the ‘bread’, then I make the ‘sandwiches’; so all I can say, it is all about equal contribution.”
Just suggest
Neeja wants all mothers to be kind to themselves. “No matter what the world says, as long as you spend quality time with your child and you are there when they need you, you are fine."
Payal wants everyone to do what they wish and explore their ability. “Develop a solid support network, follow your passions, and look after yourself. Cherish the moments of joy and celebrate your successes, but also be gentle with yourself during the challenging times. Follow your passions and interests. Pursue hobbies and activities that bring you joy and fulfilment. The greatest gift you can give a child is to raise them in a secure and caring environment and embrace the journey of motherhood.”
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