In my experience as a manager, the biggest mistake I have made is judging people who wore their confidence on their sleeves. It is easy to be fooled by people who have the tendency to impress you with their knowledge but when it comes to delivery, they have little to show.
Being a good conversationalist and doing actual work on paper are two different skill sets. Unfortunately, we think good speakers will be good at any job. Putting together a presentation or writing a report that makes sense are rare skills. Yet, we always fall for the talker. Here's how to identify a talker from a doer.
1. A talker always lives in the past and harps on past achievements. A doer would ask you what it is that you want them to do.
2. A talker knows the buzzwords. A doer detests buzzwords because, in reality, they mean nothing.
3. A talker will always speak in vague terms. A doer relies on facts and data to do the talking.
4. A talker is always sure, a doer is always (to the point of exhaustion and at the cost of irritating others) unsure.
5. A talker makes promises and fails to deliver them. A doer will promise with caution but will work hard to meet the deadline.
6. A talker never comes in with questions and clarity while they are on something. A doer will always seek more clarity and keep you updated about the progress of their work.
7. A talker is a talker. A doer is a good listener.
8. The talker thinks in terms of their imagination and vision, finding the shoddiest and the shortest route to execute a task. A doer has the rare quality of listening to you and doing exactly what you want, albeit with his/her creativity woven into it. They take the extra effort of digging deep into a subject and giving you something valuable rather than run-of-the-mill.
9. Finally, the talker has a know-it-all attitude, while the doer generally suffers from crippling imposter syndrome.
The talker-doer paradigm also brings me to another paradigm. The one suffering from imposter syndrome and the other with a know-it-all attitude.
Why your imposter syndrome may not be all that bad after all
You get a great job and yet you are feeling miserable. What could be the reason? The underlying feeling of dissatisfaction from a job is not always a function of the job being too demanding or not meeting your initial expectations. Sometimes, we believe that we aren't good enough for it and that someone has trusted us with something which we probably won't be able to deliver on. The initial hurdle at sucking at a job can sometimes be misinterpreted as "I never really wanted to do this" or "this is not my life's calling." Delayed confidence is a good thing because that confidence is derived from earned efficacy learnt on the job, rather than an exaggerated notion of our capabilities which has no basis in real performance at any professional assignment.
We all have a vague idea of what we are good at. But even then, real work confidence comes from giving that first sales pitch or handling that first client. Your assessment of your talent is merely a starting point of beginning to do something badly. Your natural talent at something has nothing to do with your professional success. That requires sustained effort and overcoming the initial resistance or the overwhelm brought about by a new job. Thus anyone who overestimated their natural talent will for sure be in for a disappointment. Contrarily, those with imposter syndrome, have a far better chance of getting success because they do not feel entitled to it.
(The writer is a mental health and behavioural sciences columnist, conducts art therapy workshops and provides personality development sessions for young adults. She can be found @the_millennial_pilgrim on Instagram and Twitter.)
