A lot is being said about parenting these days – whether to be a friendly parent, a disciplinarian, a helicopter parent, and so on. Parenting, however, has no definite rules and there are no rights or wrongs. It differs from household to household and what the parent feels is right for the child.
Talking about strict parenting and whether that leads to having successful children, is again a topic that requires an open-minded approach. I feel strict parenting can have advantages and disadvantages, whereas the long-term disadvantages and risks outweigh the benefits for me.
Parents often find it challenging to discipline children. If you are a pre-teen parent, like I am, it is a challenge, to be honest. You need to keep calm and cool, and not be too strict because that can lead to more problems. The child at times, may turn out to be well-behaved, but out of fear. The child wants to live up to the expectations of his/her parent, who doesn’t yell at him/her. But at the same time, s/he may become a rebel and that can have negative effects.
Every household has rules, however, if you are too rigid or strict about them, your child may start hiding things from you and engage in activities in secrecy. I don’t think any parent would like or approve of this. I think one should be authoritative, but not strict. Explain your point of view in a way that the child understands, but don’t be overly lenient. Don’t treat your child as your friend; you have to draw boundaries, which the child understands and respects. However, do not over-impose on the child, give him/her freedom as well.
Chalk out rules and regulations at home. But, do not be over strict because that can have a negative impact in the future. There are some benefits of being a little strict; I have seen discipline in such children. But, what I personally feel is there needs to be a balance. What I mean here is if one is a strict parent, the other can be lenient. This way, the child will be fearful of one parent and carefree with the other one, so that s/he gets the best of both worlds.
The child will also be weary of letting his/her parents down. Hence, will always ensure that they are following the dos and don’ts listed by their parents, and are goal-driven, hard-working, and focused on achievements.
However, the parents, too, need to be cautious of not burdening the child with their expectations. The children already are pressured with academic goals set by their schools, parents should also be aware of that. At the end of the day, the child will be disappointed for not making his parents happy and that will affect the child’s mental health in the long run. The child will have low self-esteem and a lack of self-confidence.
Therefore, I feel the parents should divide the roles where one can be strict and the other parent can listen to the child’s problems and troubles. So, chalk out rules, explain them to your child, and ensure that you aren’t overtly strict to discipline your child.
(Riddhima Kapoor Sahni is a jewellery designer, and daughter of veteran actors Rishi Kapoor and Neetu Kapoor)
