You were approached to write a memoir about your cancer journey, instead Close to The Bone is a wholesome journey spanning from your parents’ courtship through all the way to the present.
They say that your past waters your roots and prepares you for where you’re going. It was while I was writing about my cancer experience that other aspects of my life became woven into the narrative and I realised I can’t write about it separate from the rest of my life. I also had collected a lifetime of observations and diaries and selfishly, I’ve been desirous of launching myself as a writer so a broader narrative made sense. I am who I am because of my parents and in the process of writing, I discovered so much about myself.
More or less, can you describe your writing process?
I find it a mix of narrative and contemplative. How did I strike that balance? I wish I could, but I can’t. I’m thinking about it now as I’m contemplating my next book but what I can share is that there was a pure intention to tell my story as it needed and wanted to be told. I let my story tell itself.
You have described a scene in the first quarter of the book about your first pulls to look inward. You had no one religion in which you took that solace, instead you let them all be impartially your outlets. What are your thoughts on this in today’s world torn apart by communalism?
I believe we need to outgrow these old tribal ideas of identifying with a singular religious practice or region. It’s the cause of so much distress and problems in our world. Look at the mixed blood creatures, I say! If we can cohesively and harmoniously blend different traditions why can’t others. It’s all upbringing and conditioning. It’s all in the mind. And truly, we are all brothers and sisters inhabiting this blue marble, earth. That’s our home and we should be more compassionate towards it.
You have spoken candidly about your battle with Bulimia. Today the fashion industry is as merciless and ruthless, affecting the body images of models. As India’s first supermodel, what are your thoughts on that?
I believe I’ve shared my experiences candidly in Close to the Bone and that’s what I have to say about my struggles in the industry. Currently, I find myself at an interesting crossroads of representing ‘age’ and ‘fitness’ and the discussions around perceptions of women who are middle-aged. Honestly, we just need to drop all these labels and treat ourselves with compassion.
“What meditation is, you sit and bleed.” I found this profoundly touching. Give us an overview of your meditation practise as you have spoken a lot about it in the last quarter.
Suffering’s great power is that it’s an interruption of life and it reminds you that you are not who you think you are. Even as we are sitting, there is an inner churn of our weather patterns. All our fears come to the surface to be recognised, released and alchemise, but there is no escape. Sitting and stillness means confronting pain and fear, feeling it fully. If we give our minds the right encouragement and water and light, then like a bud it will of itself manifest its true nature
You have described your Ayurvedic dosha as Vata and referred to it often in your book. Can you elaborate as to how it has related to your journey throughout?
I think you could say one of the themes of my book is taming my Vata — my wind element. I am naturally given to movement and a nomadic lifestyle which is the opposite of what my constitution needs. I need a bit of structure and grounding but the journey to accepting stillness is a large part of what the book describes.
What are your thoughts on unconditional love which your memoir emphasises on?
It’s our essential nature. We have forgotten who we are, what we are capable of and what constitutes our nature. It is love. Unconditional love. I found it through reflection, meditation and self inquiry. And it is only once we love ourselves that we can extend it to others.
Close to the Bone
Lisa Ray’s memoir, Close to the Bone, is a deeply immersive read which, once the last leaf is turned, puts one in a deeply contemplative state. Personally, I cannot say that I’ve been a big reader of the memoir but this one really has that quality to it which one can call upon for personal reflection. Defying the expectation that it would be centred around Lisa’s cancer journey and remission, it is more a holistic view of her life which is at the same time a bird’s eye view and also a deeply cellular story told by her now, with the wisdom of hindsight. The most striking part is not her cancer journey (though it does top the list as one of the pivotal points of the book) but her beginnings in Bombay and the element of serendipity which led her on a whirlwind journey to become firstly, India’s first supermodel, and then on an inward way to her spiritual side. Speaking of which, spirituality is certainly one of the elements which Lisa explores from the first quarter and the stream of consciousness writing (though not all, as the memoir proceeds in a lucid narrative way) does a great job to highlight the pull of the workings inside. There are times, though, somewhere in the middle that the book is a little slow but it catches up soon after. When one begins a memoir, there are certain prejudices one keeps in mind before starting out, and surprisingly (though pleasantly) Lisa’s book is nowhere near the sometimes pompous, or self important ways in which this genre has been explored before, though with some beautiful exceptions. If a book is to be assigned a colour palette, this one does throw one in a bewildered tizzy as it fits in the bold reds of the valiant as well as the soft pastels of the sentimental. All in all, it is an odyssey, a venture into the unknown now told from the safety of looking back, and an experience best paired with old wine.
— Stuti Kute
