If we get an opportunity to go back a bit in the past we would witness a hundred whispers enunciating about the importance of “quality time”. For ages we have been elucidating the concept of spending quality time with your loved ones and a little extra special when it comes to your partner. The irony is the altercations of all these years, colligated into the prime agenda of 2020 with the pandemic indirectly offering people some good old quality time. To make it sound a tad bit caramel coated, someone has rightfully stated that, “They slipped briskly into an intimacy from which they never recovered.”
Recent studies revealed people witnessed a considerable decrease in sexual behaviour during the lockdown. Statistics explained the gradual changes in the way people were traversing the concept of intimacy during the pandemic.
Fresh like dew
As brazen as it may sound the pandemic confinement witnessed the sporadic rhythms of couple intimacy. “Excess of anything spoils the taste,” says Shamika Shah, an interior designer by profession and Harsh Shah, an artist, when asked about whether the pandemic has affected their intimacy quotient. “In the beginning, it was indeed exciting knowing the fact that both of us would have to work from home, so we will be able to spend some more time with each other. To speak about intimacy, it was at its peak because the au courant hysteria always gives you the adrenaline rush. But over a period of time it the intoxication mellowed a bit because it felt more like a normal routine. The first few days were filled with numerous ideas and experiments but soon we ran out of ideas,” said Shamika.
Apart from experimentations, the lockdown brought about some considerable changes in intimacy owing to the increase in understanding between the couples. Annotating the auxiliary segment of intimacy Harish said, “As a couple we were able to explore and implement our choices and even at times find a mid way out to enjoy our personal times. Intimacy to us was not just about getting physical, but also about trying to learn and implement each others likes and dislikes. So we can say the intimacy of learning experience was definitely extravagant.”
Setting ground rules
While some explored new channels of affinity some played it safe by devising some scrupulous ground rules. Life is all about spice and coding for Pallavi and Mayank Nayak so this lockdown came like a boon in disguise for them, but with discipline. These ground rules they claimed helped them to find their balance amidst the COVID chaos and yet enjoy intimacy to the fullest.
In her true blue chef avatar Pallavi Nayak a home-maker and food therapist declares that, “The initial few weeks of the lockdown were quite stressful. The advent of the new normal while being confined within your home took a toll on our intimacy for sure. But we gradually started picking up the pieces of the puzzle and brought back the lost flavour of
intimacy. But we did maintain some discipline like allotting specific hours to each thing. This helped us keep up with our schedules as well as maintain our intimacy.”
Ground rules in intimacy sounds quite the thing these days knowing the fact that couples fear losing the spark of a relationship. With gruelling work schedules and changing professional dimensions sometimes results in intimacy blues. Some couples also seek couples therapy to understand and experiment new means of expounding intimacy.
Elaborating a bit on the types of ground rules laid as a couple Mayank, said, “We started off with respecting each other's work timetable and designed the 'do not disturb' time frame. As a couple, we divide the cooking responsibilities which we feel are an integral part of our intimacy quotient. To be honest the pandemic and lockdown actually helped us in exploring each other both physically and mentally. For once when we thought that we might get bored of each other, it actually turned the tables for us.”
Finding intimacy in little things
You know it is true love when you find intimacy in the right proportions in the right place and the right time. Even in today’s time the concept of intimacy is still incommodious to sex which is why people fail to believe that there is something more to intimacy than plain sex. When it comes to intimacy and kids, the latter wins all the attention, but if you know to play your cards right you are in for a game.
“If we talk about the pre-COVID days, we barely had time for each other or even for the kids as we were too occupied with work and their studies and classes. We were quite sceptical about how to engage the kids and still spend time with each other, but as we still found a way to do things together. For me and Tanaya the definition of intimacy was different from its regular version and the pandemic in turn made it more special. We decided on doing things which the other person would like and things worked out fine,” says Sanchit Kamat, who works as a marketing manager with an international firm.
Sanchit and Tanaya thoroughly believe that intimacy is not just about being physically available for each other, but also emotionally. Exploring their new found intimacy, Tanaya, who is a mandala artist, said, “I read books while Sanchit is into games. But we went for role reversal this time. So while Sanchit read a few good books, I tried my hand at playing online games. For us this was intimacy as we tried new things while still maintaining household chores as well as our jobs. We cooked together, played together with kids and enjoyed movies of different genres. The pandemic did affect our intimacy, but on a very pleasant note.”
At one point when people believed that condoms would be one of the first few things to run out of stock, intimacy did witness its share of highs and lows amidst the pandemic. To make it sound a bit enchanting, people explored contemporary ways of enjoying intimacy while strictly adhering to business.