In a world that constantly promotes perfectionism and comparison, it’s easy for individuals to fall into the trap of feeling ‘not good enough’. This pervasive, negative internal dialogue can have a detrimental effect on your self-esteem, mental health, and overall well-being.
It may appear in various ways in your language, such as, ‘I don’t deserve this’, ‘I am not worth it’, ‘I need to try harder’, ‘I need to do more’ or ‘I’ve got to please people to be accepted by them’. All this leads to overcompensation, need for validation and frustration.
The belief that you is not good enough can be crippling, preventing individuals from pursuing their passions, enjoying fulfilling relationships, and living a truly happy life. If left unchecked, this negative self-talk can penetrate deep into the subconscious thereby deteriorating self-esteem, physical, and emotional health. It can create a chasm between what we truly deserve and what we allow ourselves to experience. While it may be disheartening to experience setbacks, they are valuable lessons that can lead to future successes.
Here are seven actionable strategies to that can help your get over the ‘I am not good enough’ feeling:
Cultivate self-awareness: Awareness is the first step towards change. Start by paying attention to your thoughts and emotions. Whenever you catch yourself thinking negatively, take a step back and observe the pattern. Jot down these thoughts in a journal and identify any triggers or situations that prompt this self-doubt.
Use positive affirmations: Once you have identified your negative thought patterns, confront them rationally. Ask yourself, ‘Is this thought based on facts or assumptions? What evidence supports or refutes it? What would I say to a friend who was expressing this thought? Is there an alternative explanation or interpretation?’ Challenging negative thoughts can weaken their power over you. Replace negative thoughts with positive affirmations to reinforce positivity and self-worth. Examples include, ‘I am capable and resilient’ or ‘I have the power to create positive change in my life’. Repeat these affirmations daily, out loud or in your mind, and place them in visible areas like your mirror, phone, or workstation.
Shift your focus: Focus on your positive qualities, achievements, and experiences rather than dwelling on negative thoughts. Create a list of your strengths, skills, and moments you are proud of, and review it regularly to shift your attention towards your successes.
Practice mindfulness: Regular mindfulness practice, such as meditation, yoga, or deep breathing, can help train your brain to be more present and less susceptible to negative self-talk. Set aside 10-15 minutes daily for mindfulness practice, allowing yourself to focus on the present moment non-judgmentally.
Cultivate gratitude: Focusing on the positive aspects of your life can help shift your mindset away from the ‘not good enough’ paradigm. Keep a gratitude journal and write down at least three things you are grateful for daily. This practice can train your brain to search for and appreciate the good things in your life. Surround yourself with positive influences, whether supportive friends, uplifting music, or inspiring books. Minimise interactions with negative people or situations that trigger self-doubt.
Set realistic goals and celebrate small victories: Recognising the ‘small victories’ will boost your belief in your capabilities. Often, negative self-talk stems from unrealistic expectations. Break down big goals into smaller, achievable steps, allowing yourself to experience success regularly. As you reach milestones, celebrate your progress, and appreciate the journey, recognising that setbacks and self-doubt are normal and can be overcome.
Seek professional help: If your negative self-talk is affecting your daily life, it may be time to seek guidance from a therapist or a life coach. An expert can help you delve deeper into the root of your self-doubt and provide tailored strategies to boost your self-esteem and mental well-being.
(Dr Chandni Tugnait is M.D. (Alternative Medicines), Psychotherapist, Life Coach, Business Coach, NLP Expert, Healer, Founder & Director — Gateway of Healing)
