We hear this a lot: s/he is a red flag or toxic for you. But how many think that instead of judging others, you should know yourself too? Have you ever considered thinking that you can be a red flag too? And, what are your toxic traits? No one is flawless and everyone has qualities that are considered a red flag. Thus, it is critical to conduct regular self-checks to ensure that you are being your best self.
Here are the few signs to know whether you are a red flag or not.
You lack empathy
Nobody looks good when they are apathetic. Empathy is a life skill that everyone should have. Humans create emotional ties with the surrounding. You are a red flag if you are unable to see the pain and suffering of others and instead go on and on about yourself. Everyone has problems, but if you believe that just your problems are worthy of attention and answers, then you are a red flag.
You are not willing to work on yourself
The first step in developing a healthy relationship is to develop a healthy relationship with oneself. If you are aware of your flaws but refuse to improve on them. Self-reflection and introspection are essential components of improvement. And if you aren’t ready to tackle those things, it’s time to understand that you are a huge red flag in your own life.
You are too self-centred
Who doesn’t like attention? Unfortunately, too much attention-seeking burns people out quickly. Being a little bit selfish is okay. You should prioritise yourself, but you should stop and think when your selfishness deliberately harms other people. Self-centred people frequently struggle to love others. They are more likely to be takers than givers, and a one-sided relationship cannot last.
You can’t handle rejection
Rejections are an inevitable part of life, and if you don’t learn how to deal with them effectively, you’re lacking an essential skill. If you act like a child at a candy store when their favourite candy is denied, it’s time to look in the mirror. That is a toxic personality trait. People who don’t take rejection well are the ones who become abusive when they are rejected. Learn to be kind; it will make your life simpler.
Do the bare minimum
Every relationship needs effort. You must make an effort to make the relationship worthwhile for your partner. However, if you only do the bare minimum while expecting the other person to take the maximum load, you are a major red flag. Relationships involve time, effort, sacrifices, and changes, and if you are unwilling to make any of them, that relationship is not for you.
You are not a good listener
Being a good listener requires active skill, which not many possess. You are a poor listener if you only hear someone speak but do not genuinely register what they are saying. In any relationship, listening to others is an essential skill. You must determine whether the other person has any complaints or problems that they wish to address, rather than only hearing what would benefit you.
You base your value on other relationships
It is an issue if you value yourself based on what people think of you, rather than on who you are. If you constantly need affirmation from other people and think that your relationship would ‘complete’ you. Then therapy is what you need, not a partner. It is not the role of your partner to ride in like a knight in shining armour and save you. And, you are no damsel in distress. You must save yourself. Find your self-worth, seek professional assistance, and then chase love. Discover who you genuinely are, embrace that person, and care for them.