1 Tune your thoughts: Take time to pray, meditate or sit in thoughtful silence for at least ten minutes every day. I meditate twice a day for twenty-one minutes and it has transformed my thinking and my life.
2 Observe silence: Thoughts are energy waves! Yes, we can direct our thoughts in a manner that works for us, not against us!
3 Practise moderation: Eat in moderation, sleep in moderation and speak in moderation.
In 2010 and 2011, two of the most unbalanced years of my entire life just before my divorce, I was on planes every week. Between the travel and the jet lag, I had almost begun to forget my sense of self. My daughter Kanika was in Wales, Kiran was at college in Georgetown, Washington, DC, and Kabir was at Harrow School in London.
I used to be an intimate part of my children’s lives while they were growing up. So, when we moved to Hong Kong, having my children spread out all over the world was a very discombobulating experience for me. I felt an inner imbalance. I was worried about Kiran in college and sad that we were not in NYC for her to come home and visit while she settled into college life. Kanika seemed to love it in Wales, but she was young and impressionable and I wanted to be sure she understood that I was always there for her. I was terrified that Kabir had to attend a boys’ boarding school at the tender age of thirteen, and until that point, Kabir was quite underexposed to the world.
So, I was on long-haul sixteen-hour flights from Hong Kong to DC, and Hong Kong to London every month to be present for the Harrow exeats. I tried my best to create the environment of a loving home, and I succeeded in doing that in our London home, which I am grateful we bought since Kabir was to spend five years in London. The travel, the stress of jet lag and the lack of support from my then husband began to make me feel unbalanced to an even greater extent.
One Saturday, when Kabir had started his third year at Harrow, I was watching a soccer game at the Harrow fields. The kids were cheering each other, the English grass never looked greener and the house parents now seemed almost like family. I took a deep breath of gratitude as I saw how strong, healthy and happy my son was. I had just returned from Wales after a weekend with Kanika, and it seemed like Kiran had found her happiness in after-class drumming sessions at the 18th Street Lounge Club in DC.
For some reason that moment changed me, and since then I have not allowed anything or anyone to unbalance me. I simply move away from a situation now if it’s not serving my higher needs. Moderation entered my life and I have never looked back!
(Excerpts from 3 TIPS: The Essentials for Peace, Joy and Success by Meera Gandhi)
