In the previous article, you understood the importance of setting the right boundaries in every woman’s life. You learnt about how women should deal with a challenging marriage. Now let me tell you how parents play a major role in the successful married life of their daughters.
In ancient times, when a child was born, the parents would first show the child’s kundali (birth chart) to their Guru, who could identify the yog (opportunities), dosh (sins), rin (pending karmic debts), etc. with which the child is born and how it would affect his/her destiny. The parents would get the remedies done immediately to avoid all the major pitfalls the child would have faced in the future. Even Lord Ram’s kundali was shown to his Guru after he was born. Even if the opportunity of becoming a legend is predicted in your child's future, the opportunity might go in vain if the kundali is not checked in time and the right remedies are not done accordingly.
Hence, as parents, this is your first duty to know the purpose of your child’s birth with the help of a spiritually realised master.
Parents are the first form of Guru for any child. It is your duty to give your children the right sanskar (values) from the very beginning. It is crucial that you as parents yourself should be spiritual and understand the purpose of human birth. Much before your child is conceived, you must engage in spiritual practices like meditation, satvik diet, mantra chanting, reading scriptures, epics of legends, etc. so that you attract a divine soul.
Always remember, your children quickly pick up your actions and thoughts, as your aura constantly gets transferred to them. For example, if your neighbour is at the door and you ask your child to lie that you are not at home, they will instantly pick up the habit of lying. If your child sees you breaking the traffic signal often, they get the impression that laws are meant to be broken. Children absorb everything like a sponge. Hence as parents, your every action matters as it will create a lasting impression on their minds.
Before your children get exposed to the external world, you must build their strong character, and help them understand their goals in life, the ill effects of having the wrong company, affairs, etc. You need to make them understand that for being extraordinary it is necessary to sacrifice ordinary habits. Once you raise them with strong morals, you will not have to worry about how they will select their life partner.
When it comes to marriage, especially of daughters, your responsibility as parents increases even more. For any woman to have a successful married life, it is crucial that she attracts the right partner and performs her righteous duties correctly. For this, it is also essential that apart from worldly education, she learns Vedant from a spiritually realised Jeevit Guru at the right age. Our ancient scriptures like Vishnu Puran, Shiv Puran, etc. teach about how one should ideally lead their life in grihastha ashram (married life). Hence, it is essential to send your daughters to Gurukul to learn scriptures at a young age. Because once she gets married, it will become difficult to find time to learn Vedant due to several responsibilities that come with marriage.
Parents must marry their daughters only to the right deserving person who has divine qualities like modesty, love, devotion, forgiveness, empathy, equality, respect etc. Even in the case of a love marriage, parents should not blindly say ‘yes’ to their daughter's choice. If the person she has chosen is not ideal for her, our scriptures say that parents should not perform her ‘kanya daan’ and if they do so, it amounts to a big dosh (sin). Kanya daan is one of the highest forms of donation. Hence, you need to fully ensure that the groom you have chosen is supatra (deserving) and not a kupatra (undeserving).
After marriage, you are not supposed to interfere too much in the married life of your daughter. In the olden days, it was not easy for parents to communicate with her. Hence, the interference of a mother in the daughter’s life was minimal. But today, due to the advancement of technology, both - mother and daughter are constantly in touch. The daughters overshare everything that is happening at her in-law's home. Mostly, a mother can give biassed advice, even if her daughter is at fault. Rather you should advise her to introspect on where she might have gone wrong and guide her on how to win their hearts.
When your daughter gets married, you should give her time to adapt to the new family and new environment. Let her settle down and handle things on her own. Being in touch with your daughter daily will make her feel more homesick. Hence, maintaining a distance will be good for both families. But, if she is facing torture or harassment, you need to take immediate action. Just because the daughter is married, parents cannot expect her to tolerate harassment for her entire life. However, your daughters will never have to face such a situation if you ensure that you have done ‘Kanya daan’ to a supatra.
I hope you have now realised your key role as a parent and the righteous duties you have to perform for your daughter’s successful marriage.
The next article will focus on how in-laws play a crucial role in the successful marriage of a woman. Stay tuned!
