Guiding Light by Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: Understanding Emotional Intelligence

One may resolve a hundred times not to get angry. But when the emotion comes, most people are unable to control it. There is nothing wrong with anger if it is under your control. When anger controls you, it is a recipe for disaster. Here are a few tips to manage anger:

1. Why can’t we control our anger? Because we love perfection. Make a little room for imperfection in your lives. Do not expect everyone to be perfect overnight. When you give some space for imperfection you become more patient. When you know everything is part of the divine plan, you stop demanding. Usually we hurry the mind and are slow in our action. Impatience means hurry in the mind; lethargy means slowness in action. Patience in the mind and dynamism in action is the right formula.

2. Instead of looking at the cause of anger look at the harmful effect it is producing in your system.Lust when indulged brings inertia, and when suppressed brings anger. Lust is nothing but primordial unharnessed energy. The same when harnessed manifests as enthusiasm, sparkle, sharpness of intellect and love.

3. Focus on relaxing your system, attend to yourself. Confusion arises when new information flows in and clarity is lost. Then confusion again seeks clarity. Clarity constricts the possibility of new information. A confused consciousness seeks clarity and every confusion is breaking away from clarity.

4. Broaden your vision: You cannot make everyone the way you want them to be. When unpleasant things happen, you should have the strength and courage to move on. Many a time, you become angry or miserable because of the feverishness for perfection. If you are too much of a perfectionist, you are bound to be an angry person. In a state of ignorance, imperfection is natural and perfection is an effort. In a state of wisdom or enlightenment, imperfection is an effort; perfection is unavoidable!

5. Meditate: Meditation provides the much-needed strength to surmount anger. Meditation calms the mind and enables you to let go of the anger and events of the past. Just meditate and know that you are nobody or that you belong to someone special…

Sometimes it is good to show anger purposefully. For example, a mother gets angry at her children and can act tough or shout at them if they put themselves in danger. Anger can be a useful tool if you can be completely aware and just show anger without actually getting angry!

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