When we speak of forgiveness, we often end up seeing others or ourselves as either victims or culprits. The moment you decide to forgive, there is already a judgement in the mind. You believe the other has wronged you intentionally. But when you look a little deeper, you see it was simply born out of ignorance. Most mistakes are not born out of malice. They happen because of a lack of awareness, a lack of understanding, and a lack of peace within a person.
Very often, we assume, “They did this purposely to hurt me.” But that’s rarely the whole truth. Every so-called culprit is a victim crying for help. They may be victims of poor education, stress, emotional instability, and narrow thinking. But we fail to see that. When you begin to see the victim inside the culprit, something softens in you. Something opens. You are no longer stuck in the blame game. Your heart becomes free. And just as we must free others from the label of being “culprits”, we must free ourselves from the label of “victim”.
There is a beautiful story about Buddha. Once, after a meditation session with thousands gathered, a man ran up and spat on his face. He shouted insults. Everyone around was shocked. But Buddha remained calm. His smile did not change. The man left after his outburst, and Buddha continued as if nothing had happened.
The next day, that same man returned. He fell at Buddha’s feet and asked for forgiveness. The disciples tried to stop him, but Buddha said, “No, let him come.” Then something surprising happened. Buddha said, “I cannot forgive you.” Everyone was stunned. The man was in tears, pleading, but Buddha explained, “The person you spat on is no longer here. And the person who spat is also not here. If I ever meet those two again, I will ask one to forgive the other.”
The mind is like a river. You cannot step into the same water twice. That moment is gone. That person is no longer who he was. You are no longer who you were. When you realise this, then forgiveness simply happens.
