Fourteen years have passed since newly married, the current Consul General Achim Fabig and wife Didem Atahan Fabig from Germany arrived in India for their honeymoon. They landed in Delhi and headed straight to the Gurudwara Bangla Sahib, only to reflect after years, sitting in their plush Pedder Road apartment, that it was the most surreal experience they had on their first visit to India. “It was like a dream come true and so special,” says Didem as she leads our way into a large drawing room furnished with the formality of a regency room with small artifacts, a bookshelf, a piano and a Ganesha idol. Soon, Didem sets the table with refreshing Turkish tea and binge-worthy tarts and pastries. The couple has a 10-year-old son Nehar, and about a year-old dog Darvin. They have made India their home since Achim first took over as Consul General in Chennai between 2014-2018 and came back in 2022 in Mumbai. “Our time in India has been full of experiences and meeting interesting people,” says Didem, who misses the Ganesha temple near her home in Chennai.
The couple loves cultural diversity and knows what makes Tamilian Brahmans, Iyengars and Iyers culturally different. They love binging over Romantics on Netflix and savouring Masala Dosa in a South Indian restaurant. Didem will tell you the history behind different saris available in India and pleasantly show you her versatile collection, for she grew up in Istanbul admiring India’s former Prime Minister Indira Gandhi in a sari. She learned yoga and ardently follows Indian spiritual practices, while Achim watches South Indian movies.
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“Movies are a wonderful way to connect with Indian culture. They bring out a lot of beautiful subjects on identity, gender and all fun family movies. The new India is interesting while seeing through movies,” says Achim, who first came to India in 1991 for an internship at Max Muller Bhavan and Indo-German Chamber of Commerce in New Delhi in 1993. He met Didem in New York. “He sent me a text message on the day we met and according to New York dating rules, a guy needs to wait for at least three days. My aunt forced me to meet him.”
“We don’t have many similarities and we have different outlooks but the basis of our relationship is friendship and that helped us reinvent ourselves as a couple,” says Achim who as a diplomat, Didem says, is more introverted and she being a psychologist is more extrovert. “It’s important to understand where you are and how you don’t miss each other in between everything that you are doing. We both work towards it. We reconnect with each other every time to ensure no one is falling behind,” shares the Consul General. Didem agrees, “It’s teamwork. No matter how big the fight is, at night, remember that we are in this together.”
With Achim’s constantly transferable jobs, the diplomat couple navigates their professional lives according to the new place. Didem, especially, finds it more challenging but her inclination towards knowing a new culture helps her adjust faster. “It requires me to move and go everywhere he goes. His career always grows but I have to find my own identity each time and something to do at a new place. We both love people and culture and India offers a lot of variety,” says the psychologist.
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As Didem heads to her kitchen to bring us another round of tea, we continue our conversation about Germany and its rapid success as a developed nation after World War I. “We had the largest catastrophe when the country was led astray. That will always be a part of Germany’s identity. But after the war, we realised that we need to get away from that and rebuild ourselves as a nation. We believed in the idea that ‘enough is enough'. This experience of generations that had gone through so much realising looking beyond the circumstances could have triggered that they need to put away the past and work toward better future,” says the diplomat complementing that India too has come a long way in terms of development and diversity. “In a way what happened in India after the colonial rule, the entire country understood to unite and work together to become stronger player. This has been India’s strength to respect different cultures and know that when they come together they work the best. One of the most wonderful examples we see is that during the 1971 India-Pakistan War, the Indian Army’s top leadership was an interesting mix — General (later Field Marshal) S.H.F.J. Manekshaw was a Parsi, Lt Gen J.S. Aurora, the Eastern Army Commander, a Sikh, and Maj Gen (later Lt Gen) J.F.R. Jacob was Jewish and the Prime Minister, who led the war was a Hindu,” he adds.
We also touch upon the topics of increasing interest among students moving to Germany for education. Achim says India is the second largest foreign student community after Chinese in Germany. For India-German trading relations he says, “The present government is trying to make big steps to try to come closer and understand and build an exchange,” explains the German diplomat as we sign off.
The India connection
Favourite Indian movies
Achim: PK and Billu Barber
Didem: Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge, Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham
Favourite Indian actors
Achim: Tabu and Saif Ali Khan
Didem: Nawazuddin Siddiqui
Last book you read
Achim: The Seven Moods of Maali Almeida by Shehan Karunatilaka
Didem: Guru To The World — The Life and Legacy of Vivekananda by Ruth Harris, and The Courtesan, The Mahatma and the Italian Brahmin by Manu S Pillai
Places you would like to travel in India
Achim: Himalayas, Leh and Ladakh, and Kashmir
Didem: Nirvana Ashram in Igatpuri
Your favourite Indian food
Achim: Masala Dosa and Ras Malai
Didem: Thalis from any state, Biryani, and Mughlai food
Last movie you watched together
Romantics on Netflix, Darlings, and Lal Singh Chaddha
