If you are showered with attractive gifts — a cuddly teddy bear, boxes full of chocolates and cupcakes, a bouquet of red roses, a lacy satin pink dress, a strawberry ice cream treat, a love letter written with heartfelt messages and wrapped in sweet scent — how would you feel? A princess, right? If this isn’t enough for you, then consider being taken out for a candlelight dinner, a movie date night or an evening stroll on a breezy beach to discuss and plan a getaway call.
Are you already over the moon? And started fantasising the admirable suitor to be as charming as a prince, precisely your lover boy! How about returning him the favours with a similar treatment? Buy your prospective significant other a guitar if he is fond of strumming a musical instrument or better still, a diehard romantic at heart. Rustle up a relishing dish for him if he’s a foodie. After all, the way to a man’s heart is always through his stomach, wot say!
You may also try some other options to woo your man like whispering sweet nothings in his ear or getting him infatuated with meaningful offerings.
Trust your overtures to spin magic. He will be on cloud nine in no time. Such heart-warming gestures are always known as ‘princess treatment’ and recently gained momentum as a talking point all over again.
Of late, the social media is abuzz with this appellation of delivering a ‘princessy demeanour’. Thus, feeling treasured like a queen or a king is becoming increasingly gender neutral. Is the voting-metre tilting towards ‘princess treatment’ on dating apps and in marital unions? Is this setting a new trend in relationship equations?
Fairytale love
But why do both men and women love the ‘prince’ or ‘princess-like’ treatment from their life partners? “Such a royal treatment is straight out of a fairy tale book or a fantasy movie that we grew up watching and savouring like a delicacy since our childhood days,” perceives life coach Milind Jadhav.
“In a make-believe romantic world or a dreamy setting, a prince or a princess unconditionally fawns over each other, turning a blind eye to their respective partners’ flaws and inconsistencies. Unfortunately, real life is different. Adult life is like a rude shock and sometimes shatters our myths and misconceptions. It is but human nature that craves a completely utopian state. Love is a basic need and more often than not, people feel unloved and unreciprocated in their feelings and relationships,” he further amplifies his thoughts.
If a man or a woman receives unstinted privilege in infancy, he/she subconsciously starts expecting the same from their spouses later in life. “It feels familiar and comforting that way,” notes life and mindset coach Ruchi Dwivedi.
Adorable darling
It’s no harm to be dubbed someone’s WAG (wife and girlfriend). After all, it’s every woman’s heart-cherished dream to be that someone special’s lady love or better half. Problem starts when she is reduced to a mere eye or an arm candy in public or if the more socially powerful and superior partner’s image rubs off on her lesser status. Then she suffers from inferiority complex. Having said that, today’s strong, financially independent and upwardly mobile women still like to be pampered by their hubbies and boyfriends.
“Of course! I’m a big sucker for mushy love. I think am born to be spoilt for choice,” chimes in Pooja Jaiswal, who’s been married for a year now. Doubling up as a part time content creator, this corporate person chirps that her “husband’s sweet little gestures” make her feel that she’s “no ordinary girl but a special being”. “He values me and my opinion. That feeling makes you feel so content, I swear,” she enthuses.
Splurge or sincerity?
Girls love being made to feel special — with gifts, gestures, travel, shopping, dining or otherwise.
“Yes, he does make me feel on the seventh heaven with an array of unexpected gifts but nothing matches his special gestures. When I take ill, he searches recipes online and makes me some yum soups,” gushes Jaiswal.
“Be it for office or any party at home, he handles all household chores so that I can have ample time to get ready. Bed tea on lazy mornings becomes more blissful, particularly when I wake up late or get delayed for office. Very sweetly, he packs my lunch box and makes me a healthy, refreshing breakfast,” she lauds gleefully.
For Jaiswal, it was indeed love at first sight. “When I saw him in a corporate restructuring class, I knew he’s the one. But then there are so many other occasions when we bumped into each other. Can’t single out one special moment,” she recalls the day they first crossed paths.
Duo struck by cupid’s arrows
There’s no iota of doubt that both men and women truly madly deeply prefer this princess treatment to stray into their marital innings to seal a lifelong bonding. “I also offer him similar kind of stand-out treatments. See, love between a couple should be two-way traffic, not a one-way street. I plan out dates and holiday trips with him. I add the colour and fun to his life canvas, which was missing but he didn’t know it. I’m his safe home,” she gloats.
For young government employee Samarth A Naik, being pampered by one’s girl friend or beloved is like tasting the cherry on the cake. “Who doesn't like to be snuggled up in love?” he blurts out unabashedly.
He feels special when his soulmate is around him. “She makes me feel special all the time with her actions that always speak louder than words. Everyday, she goes out of her comfort zone in doing a lot of things for me. She cooks my favourite meals, listens to me patiently, hanging on every word that I pronounce when I’m really low and down, and she swears to spend every waking moment with me! What could be a bigger gift than that? What can you ask for more?” he acknowledges with a smile.
He met his match in college and the sweetest gesture that his lady love has shown him till date is by “being there through all my good and bad phases in life,” he candidly confides.
Realism over rosiness
But does this sickly sugary attitude help keep the conjugal harmony kindled forever? Or does it only feel good during the courtship days, one wonders. Do profound steps and approaches imbued with admiration, understanding and poise attach more weight to a lasting relationship?
“An overdose of schmaltzy advances usually feels wonderful during the pursuing phase because that’s the time when both partners get to explore each other and express their affections more actively. But this stage doesn’t last forever,” stresses Dwivedi.
Plain vanilla bonding
Relationship experts criticise excessive acts of chivalry and ‘mother henning’ by one partner towards the other as it spurs an active-dormant status between the two. “Heavy reliance of one spouse on the other is not cool and fair. One needs to set boundaries and expand the horizon of personal space to thrive as an individual. Isn’t it?” is the unanimous view.
That’s why, many harp on just the opposite philosophy of princess treatment, which is “bare minimum”. It’s like a frill-free arrangement sans any special features wherein minimal or most essential efforts are invested in a relationship to sustain it.
To Dwivedi, both extremes are unhealthy. “A relationship flowers on small, genuine deeds — not exaggerated gestures or complete neglect. Showing care and appreciation is vital but it should come with authenticity, not from obligation like hollow flattery. When partners feel secure to be themselves —make mistakes, share desires and communicate without fear of being judged — the relationship blossoms naturally with warmth, commitment and depth that no ‘artificial treatment’ can replace,” opines Dwivedi.
