You might think that heartbreak or feelings of intense sadness and grief are the worst kinds of feelings. Well, human life is an amalgamation of many emotions, and no emotion is good or bad. It is the feeling of having no feeling at all, which must make us pause and stay with it. The feeling of ‘meh’ — or lack of enthusiasm, engagement, or emotions can be a signal for us to question what we are suppressing or dithering away from.
Our emotions are our internal GPS. When we sit with them without judgement, that brings us to a state of calmness, which is different from being dull or numb. Numbness could arise from or lead to addictive behaviour as well. In numbness, we are on autopilot mode. If you start scrolling on Instagram, you will endlessly scroll and lose track of time.
There are plenty of reasons why one can experience numbness. One reason could be an escape. You may be avoiding confronting something that needs to be resolved or faced right up because you are scared of the consequences or the changes it would bring to your life. Maybe you are not able to muster the courage to take the final plunge.
But one of the chief reasons for numbness is exhaustion — mental and physical. We work day in and day out. Never really sign out. We might be working for a boss’ validation or some work high, for some people it’s just about getting through a work day to earn their pay cheque. But, at the end of the day, when we are by ourselves, we no longer know how we feel. We are left with little resources other than enough to just mindlessly consume — a show or some reels. The layers of exhaustion and unprocessed emotions keep on building up, and it reaches a point where we simply lose any connection with ourselves. We get into an automated mode of existence, sticking to our routine, and living for the hustle.
We might listen to a couple of podcasts, or some songs to see us through the day. More content consumption doesn’t bring us close to ourselves.
What must one do to come out of numbness? First, acknowledge, and notice that you haven’t been feeling anything for some time. Not good, not bad, not sad, not happy- you find it difficult to pin your feelings down, or find the right word to describe them. Second, do something out of routine. The worst thing you can do to yourself is to automate your life. Sometimes, life will offer you these massive jolts like heartbreak or a major disease or the loss of a job or a loved one - that will forever alter your inner construction. But we can’t be waiting for some major sad or happy event to make an appearance for us to start changing our ways.
If anything, not having practised flexibility and breaking away from routine, can completely offset our life. So, from time to time do activities that bring you out of your comfort zone, and make you feel unsafe or uncared for. Willingly move into uncharted territories and practice discomfort.
Third, take a break and relax. Make it a daily practice to tune into yourself and sign out of the world completely. Nothing is more important than feeling the full range of human emotions.
Finally, feeling numb is also an indication that you should seek therapy. We often think we go to therapy when we experience acute depression or anxiety. No, we don’t allow ourselves to go there. We start inner work when we start feeling ‘meh’.
