Feeling stuck? Ways to become your future happy self

You are not always going to be happy about where you are in life. But knowing where you want to be, and more importantly who you want to be will keep you going through rough patches in life

Somi DasUpdated: Saturday, January 21, 2023, 04:10 PM IST
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Pic: Freepik

We constantly complain about the current state of affairs in our life. It’s as if we are never where we are supposed to be. This perennial state of unhappiness and discontentment gives us the illusion that we are stuck, not moving forward or achieving our set goals in life. This can be a debilitating state to be in. The feeling of being stuck. Growth, be it tangible or spiritual, is what human beings ache for. Without growth, we may feel purposeless, depressed, and nihilistic.

Then what do we do about it? Suddenly waking up one morning and changing everything about ourselves is not the wisest thing to do. It isn’t practical either. We are creatures of habit. We can take the end number of resolutions. But no one achieved anything with merely good intentions.

You may be unhappy with the job you have currently, or the state of your finance, and health. Maybe your relationship status makes you feel inadequate. There is never going to be a moment in our lives when a particular facet or even all the facets of our life make us feel something like a ‘loser', not good enough.

Are we to then stay in this cursed situation all our life? Are we as individuals doomed to live unhappy and unsatisfactory life? Well, turns out not really.

All the spheres where we are not doing well are also the turfs where we can practice the business of doing and being. The fact is we are all novices, and at best become amateurs a life. To be skilled, we need to cultivate the patience and the quality of practising being our future selves.

Every difficulty in our life is an opportunity to dress and rehearse for the person we want to become. Every difficult situation has wisdom... What bothers us is also indicative of what matters to us. And it is important to identify the things that we care about. Because who we eventually become has a lot to do with the things that we care about.

We can be okay with the present only when we know that it is taking us towards something. The feeling of being stuck is more an illusion than reality. Try to identify the brief moments in your daily struggles where you have moved even an inch forward. Do not discount the minuscule movements, the small learnings that carry in their womb huge insights.

Each adverse event in your life is going to help you build a new muscle or a new skill. So just hang on.

(The writer is a mental health and behavioural sciences columnist, conducts art therapy workshops and provides personality development sessions for young adults. She can be found @the_millennial_ pilgrim on Instagram and Twitter)

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