Do you like your own company? If not, how can you expect others to like your company?
A gentleman got sick, and he went to visit a doctor. The doctor checked him thoroughly. Found nothing wrong. The doctor said, “All is good. You simply have to laugh more. Do one thing. There is a circus happening in the town. I have heard about their popular clown act. I have a show ticket. Go and enjoy the show.” The gentleman said, “Sir, I am that clown.”
Loneliness is not exclusive to some people; even those with riches, good family connections, and partners can still feel lonely. Despite having a very happy family, people may still feel lonely and get depressed because they have not learned to understand their own mind and emotions.
Loneliness has taken the shape of an epidemic, globally. Even in countries where people seem to have everything, like the United States, we find one in three people feeling lonely.
To come out of loneliness, we make friends with people who share something in common with us. However, it is rare to find friends who uplift each other. Besides, any company looks very good from a distance but when you get closer, it pushes all your buttons and brings about many emotions in you.
People run after parties and celebrations to fill the void. Know that someone’s company cannot fill our loneliness. Even if it does, it is very short-lived. Just turn back and see all those people you met, played with, the many happy and unhappy events that occurred even ten years ago, they are not here now. They are all gone.
For the one who does not run after them, parties and celebrations follow him wherever he or she goes. If you are in the company of the Self, parties surround you. That’s the secret.
Those who are in company all the time look for the comforts of solitude and those who are in solitude feel lonely and want to be in company. Everyone is looking for a perfect balance. That perfect balance is like a razor’s edge and can only be found in the Self. If you take out some time, say one week in a year, to be with yourself and observe your own thoughts and emotions, then you will find you are the source of joy, source of bliss.
It is good to keep a little distance from those we are close to, from time to time. Sit for a few minutes with yourself and meditate every day. This practice will help you not feel lonely even when you are alone.
There are times when we feel completely disconnected with everyone around. When that happens, we need not fight or struggle to feel connected. Rest is a good remedy for this. It is like when we sleep, we remain totally disconnected from even our closest people. We cannot take anybody else along in our sleep state. At that moment, see the whole creation as a dream, with a smile. The world is like soap bubbles in water - temporary in nature.
Beside meditation, another way to get over the feeling of loneliness is to do some service (seva) and be useful to people around us. The selfless service we do in society brings a revolution inside us.
If we are useful to people all our life, there will be hundreds and millions of people to take care of us when we need them. Take the lives of Mother Teresa and Acharya Vinoba Bhave for example. When they were sick in bed for a long time at the end of their lives, was there nobody to give them company? There were hundreds waiting to take care of them.
