We are all very different when it comes to demonstrating how we care, for some of us it's doing little things, which can be easily missed, whilst for others it might be ostentatious gifts. And whilst how we express our love and care is almost hard-wired into us, so much of it also depends on the recipient. If it doesn’t register with them, we might feel like it’s not being acknowledged by them, or worse still, disappointment that it’s not being reciprocated. This is true especially in early relationships, where partners are still figuring out each other’s love language.
Most people love surprises, and expect that their partners will know exactly what it is that they wanted, and surprise them on a special occasion like a birthday. However, what we don’t realise is sometimes we aren’t even sure what we would like, and then expecting a partner, especially in an early relationship to figure it out, is expecting nothing short of them being mind readers or even psychic!
A lot of the stress and guesswork can be taken out by being considerate to our near and dear ones, and helping them understand our likes and dislikes better. Even if we don’t like to be explicit about them, we can drop hints, which can help them figure it out. Understanding is key to building trust in relationships, and being cognizant of this little fact can help us build stranger and longer lasting relationships.
It’s also vitally important not to attach motive to mistakes, for we are all human, and every now and then, we will slip up. Kindness begets kindness, and demonstrating patience and empathy at such times, means that we will also be treated similarly when we may be in the wrong. Oftentimes, we react on the spur of the moment, almost forgetting what that relationship means to us, and can inadvertently end up damaging years of trust, love and care.
Life is complicated enough as it is, we don’t need to add it through our unreasonable expectations. The beauty of life lies in accepting people as they are, and learning to appreciate their love language, i.e. how they care for us, rather than expecting them to act just as we would. Different perspectives enrich us, making us better people, and the world a more interesting place to live in!
