Betrayal, hurt, anger, disappointment – sometime or the other, we have to face these negative emotions in our life. When we dwell on other people’s rudeness and insensitivity, we walk into the trap of bitterness and negativism. You constantly think about your disappointment; and then you begin to talk about it and you are trapped in resentment.
How best can we face such disappointments and frustrations? You can choose to react differently, by taking responsibility for your own emotions and feelings. You do this in the full awareness that others do not ‘cause’ your feelings. You choose your own. It may be a cliché to say that it is useless to cry over spilt milk. But it’s only too true. We have to learn to let go of disappointments and get on with our life. We need to forgive.
This is especially difficult when other people don’t seek our forgiveness, or indeed when they are clearly in the wrong and don’t deserve to be forgiven.
Never mind – let go!
In such situations, forgiveness allows you to let go of a no-win situation and walk out of it unhurt, unscarred by bitterness. People alas, are not perfect. At home, at work, people are going to hurt you or let you down at one time or another. If we remained in charge of our feelings, if we are in control of ourselves, we can be two steps ahead of the situation. We will not be victims of circumstances.
Let me give you a small exercise. Think of two people who have hurt you, made you angry or let you down recently – two people about whom you still feel animosity. Now ask yourself: what is my animosity doing to me? Do I feel happy holding on to it? Does it make me feel happier? Does it improve my sleep? Is my life better, richer, more meaningful because of my resentment? If the answer to all the above questions is NO – then take a courageous decision. Let go! Walk away from the disappointment and the bitterness!
(Dada J.P. Vaswani is humanitarian, philosopher, educator, acclaimed writer, powerful orator, messiah of ahimsa, and non-sectarian spiritual leader.)
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