Unlock Your Intimacy: Bachelorette party ke side effects!

Dr Aman Rajan BhonsleUpdated: Friday, April 08, 2022, 09:01 PM IST
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For my bachelorette, my friends arranged for a male stripper. I got drunk and slept with him that night. I hid this from my husband though my close friend knows. I am so ashamed of my behaviour and I’m petrified of the consequences if my husband finds out. I am feeling uneasy. What should I do?

There is a cost attached to every choice made and a responsible adult understands the price that is to be paid for transgressions made through the decision-making process. Drunken mistakes are no exception to poor planning and worse execution. If your close friend divulges your secret to your husband, it could get messy for you. The fact that you are regretting your decision is a precursor to any growth or learning that may ensue from this episode. Consequences must be met with clarity & foresight. Fear may be the obvious response and it is incidentally also the most common one. Losing control is always a choice. If you feel like being honest and setting the record straight early on in your relationship, there is merit to that. Any response you get will depend on how forgiving, drama-shy or roused he usually is in moments of trouble. There are neither predictions one can safely make about the emotion and choice of vocabulary that may or may not come your way for potentially breaking his heart or frustrating his expectations from you and the partnership you were to share. Make a decision, weigh the pros and cons consciously and hope for the best.

The casual dating and hook-up culture are making me feel increasingly isolated as I still believe in old-fashioned romance. I feel like a misfit and can’t participate in conversations with my peers. I don’t know how I will ever find a partner that shares my values. Please guide me.

The value we attach to a certain type of romance depends on our socio-cultural and pop culture exposure and also the type of person one is. Dating and hook-up culture are blamed for “ruining” the old ways and yet many see it simply as a new-age selection tool and auditioning process to make a value-based assessment of how compatible one is socially and sexually with someone. Human beings wish to have a stake in and part ownership over the things, people and situations that are important to their well-being and goals. The hook-up culture treats the act of finding a mate like addressing an itch. There is little morality assigned to it. Romance is seen as the culmination of the attraction between the sexes. However, we now live in a time of endless options and dating apps. Romance is a by-product of an interest one may have in someone and with the many distractions and entertainment means that we now have at our fingertips, the relationship has also become a transient entity unlike the fortress and temple of socio-familial harmony it once was. The choices and voices are many. You may continue to cultivate the romance that suits your needs the best. What other people do is strictly their business. The world doesn't change to accommodate our reservations. Either merge with the Zeitgeist or create one that you like better.

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