Q: I have a huge crush on my boss. I have been working under him for 3 years now but have never been able to confess my feelings for him. Somehow, I always freeze and assume that he will reject me and break my heart. I see him interact with other females on the floor and it makes me jealous. I am torn between my feelings and not having the courage to say it out loud. Help, please.
Ans: Your boss has really activated all your mating chemicals and brain networks. You are experiencing attraction, fear and jealousy even if you are not in a relationship with him. Imagine what would happen if he did reciprocate your feelings.
Before getting too excited about the idea, remember that having an affair with your boss might make you lose your job. If all ends well, you or him will probably have to resign. Are you ok with that? He is clearly in no position to flirt with you because of the power equation, you will have to make the first move.
If you are so attracted, you ought to give it a shot and the best way is to do it playfully. Make the right move. Make eye contact and give him long stares. Compliment him on things that are not so work-related: His style, his scent, his humour. You should be able to gage how he responds to these signals if you take it slow.
Whether it is fear, awkwardness or smiles. Good thing is that, there are no HR policies against flirting for the sake of flirting. You will also release some of your built-up erotic energy that is currently making you so agitated when other women are around. If you address this playfully even a potential heartbreak will be less painful.
Rejection is hurtful but it’s not the end of the world. You will surely find another hero and heal from heartbreak by acknowledging and validating your feelings.
(The writer is an Intimacy & Relationship Coach and an Independent People and Culture Specialist focusing on relationships, sexuality, youth and social media in South Asia. Have a query? Send it on firstname.lastname@example.org)