My live-in boyfriend is from a different religion as mine. Both his and my families have had a problem with this fact. We are in no hurry to get married as of now, but the pressure from both families is increasing by the day. They are unaware that we live together, which is another volcano waiting to erupt. We have moved cities twice to get away from the family pressure. They just won't leave us alone. What should we do?
Ans: Volcanic eruptions are natural phenomena part of the evolving and transforming essence of the earth. They can cause temporary harm to humans and environments but on the long run they contribute to the fertility of our soils. These soils feed our bodies. The authentic expression of your love is going to feed the souls of generations to come, as your ancestors’ love has till now.
Interfaith relationships have existed since people invented religions. They have caused conflict, as all differences do, but also beautiful love stories of intimacy and connection that navigate human diversity harmoniously. They have shown us how collaborating, recognising commonalities and honouring differences unites us and makes us stronger.
Parents will want the best for their children but that’s always based on their beliefs and value systems. Beliefs change as human beings evolve and transform alongside the earth’s natural flow. Many choices and behaviours were unacceptable a few years back, i.e. women voting, love marriage, same sex relationships, etc. We have changed that because our belief system has changed, we have evolved, we are more exposed and aware of the pros and cons as a society.
Your parents will also evolve eventually. Make sure you support their evolution with love and empathy and not impose your decision with judgement, fear or rebellion. They might need more time to evolve, so does the earth. Just be honest with them. Your honesty and love are the fertilisers to the soul that will lead them to transform. You should not leave parents alone in this evolutionary journey.
(The writer is an Intimacy & Relationship Coach and an Independent People and Culture Specialist focusing on relationships, sexuality, youth and social media in South Asia. Have a query? Send it on email@example.com)