I have titled this chapter “Receiving Kindness”, because in actual fact when someone is kind to us, we are really receiving the kindness. It is not merely that someone is being kind to us, there has to be acknowledgement or awareness that someone was or is kind to us for the kindness to be truly appreciated.
Sometimes kindness is perceived as if it were poisoned candy. Questions may come up such as, “Why is this person being kind to me?” or “Is there an ulterior motive?”
It is sad to note that there are unscrupulous people in the world who use “kindness” as a means to “get something”, Genuine kindness is an act that benefits the receiver, and the giver, who is not looking for a return on his or her investment of kindness. Most people, however, when they give an act of kindness, are sincere.
Some individuals have a hard time accepting a compliment. They may feel embarrassed or awkward. For example, Mary tells Susan that she loves what Susan has done with her hair. Susan then qualifies this kindness, by saying something like, “My hair is just a mess, I haven’t done anything to it in ages.” In her case, “ages” means she still has to go to her weekly appointment at the beauty parlour. In actual fact however, Susan is not fully appreciating Mary’s kind compliment, and as such, is not reaping the full benefits of Mary’s generosity.
It takes openness and a willingness to receive kindness and to delight in its bounty. The following exercise will help you to remember and reflect upon an experience in which someone was kind to you.
Kenneth Hemmerick
