How to transform yourself and your life

We all wish to transform! We all want the intelligence which brings an ability within to adapt that one spontaneous change. We all want to influence our own corner of the world of vicissitudes and conquer the cognitive dissonance aroused by inconsistent beliefs and behaviour. Our behavioural pattern can be strengthened by reorienting the concept of “courage-change-self-reflection” which will break the chain of ruinous thoughts and petrified opinions and free our soul from the fallacious reality.

It is not the episodes in life that shape us, but it is our belief system as to what those events mean; how we interpret them – that shapes who we are and what are we going to become tomorrow. Beliefs are what makes the remarkable difference between a rejoicing contribution lifetime and misery and devastation. It is the “belief” that causes an individual to become an Alpha; while others lead lives of confusion.

Go beyond the way you live, don’t let your limited belief cage you in. Optimise a foundation of lifestyle filled with love, courage, trust, contentment, passion, inspiration, vitality, peace, abundance, nurturing relationships, purpose, prosperity and any other wonderful feeling you wish to experience, by trusting your instincts and seeing every challenges as an opportunity. Thus, failure becomes the opportunity to turn your wounds into wisdom.

Can transformation happen overnight?

Growth is gradual and painful, change is painful but nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don’t belong. If you know what you want to achieve in life, then you self-inspire to change for the better. The art of life lies in constant motivation to readjust ourselves to our dynamic surroundings. Transformation is nothing but a creative process and creativity requires courage, a highly prized virtue to success.

Self transformation, bit-by-bit

Positive affirmation – A new age terminology refers to primarily fostering the belief of positive mental attitude and self-empowerment. Affirmations are the pronouncement of phrases governing to assertiveness. The life truly stems from our thoughts which we translate into words and eventually action in order to manifest our intension. Strong affirmation purify our thoughts and cultivate the standard of thinking. Affirmation restructures the dynamics of our brain so that we truly begin to think positively.

Affirmations can be on the lines of

  • I am a creative architect of my life and only I can build the strong foundation as per my will.

  • God has given me immense talent and I will utilise it to get what I deserve

  • My business is growing, expanding and thriving.

  • Affirmations should be recited daily, whenever you feel weak, you will notice the gradual positive change in your behaviour.

Upgrade your belief system to match your vision – Belief is that sense of certitude which makes us tap into the resources that allow us to produce intelligent and remarkable results. We all have the answers within us for virtually anything in the world or we have the access to those answers which we try to source through others. Our belief is the glasses through which we view the world and anticipate what is likely to unfold by destiny. Thus, our behaviour should always be loyal to our belief.

To create a long term change, first believe – ‘We can change now’, followed by ‘We are responsible for our own deeds’ and ‘Something must change’. We must not believe that things must change, but believe that ‘I must change it’. Finally, believe that ‘Only we are the source of the change’.

Transformation depends upon integrity and virtue – Love and respect yourself first and then do the same to others. Feeling good about ourselves and maintaining positive self-esteem is the most powerful motivator in the universe. To maintain self-integrity you must take a potential step to sacrifice your habits which is a threat to you behavioural pattern and lead to self-destruction. It is the cognitive dissonance where a discomfort zone mentally arises from holding two or more inconsistent habits generally leads to conflict in between our behavioural pattern and belief. For example, if you believe binge drinking, smoking or drug abuse is devastating for health but you still continue to do it, you experience a conflict between your behaviour and belief.

We can reduce cognitive dissonance by slowly reducing the importance of the contradictory belief.

Focus on more empowering beliefs that offset the dissonant belief or behaviour.

Finding right source to change your mindset for eg. the right role model.

Rationalisation and denial when you feel like consuming unhealthy substances.

Be grateful – Nothing is mine and everything is of your doing - is the prayer which should be offered daily to the divine. Gratitude releases endorphins in the body which make you feel good. The sense of gratitude helps you to cope up with stress and opens the door to immense happiness.

Make your life a mission with a perfect vision - If you don’t have a clear depiction for your life in the future then you will be unable to encompass your mission statements in life. We must all have that clear mental picture, where we see ourselves in the next five or 10 years and as per the vision statement we can set our mission principles and values for our actions and behaviours of how we want to start accomplishing till we actually reach there.

(The author is a midlife coach)

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