Are you looking for your clone? Do you often find faults with others or compare them with yourself? If you feel superior to the rest of them around you and twitch your nose at every pretext, then perhaps you are the one who needs to improve and seriously work on your personality issues. Your ego is overpowering your life and is not letting you grow as a person, writes APARNA KAPOOR
Being in awe of yourself
What happens when we meet someone for the first time? Or for that matter, what are we still striving for in a relationship which has already stood the test of time? Why do we want to change others around us?
The answer to all these questions is one. We are looking for similarities. We try and match every personality trait of others with our own self. In every relationship, we are in a constant effort to make the other person just like us—our clone. The moment we identify or spot even a slight difference in personalities, we wear our ‘Mr. Fix-it’ hats and jump to the rescue and save the relationship and rescue the other person from going haywire. But what a paradoxical situation, because the person concerned is also doing the same. The result is a dead end with a stressful situation. This might work well if one person is a bit submissive; but what happens in the case of two strong personalities? The relationship becomes like a war zone of sorts. This also answers the dilemma of our relationship with our kids, especially the teenagers.
This deadlock has only one solution—the awareness of versatility in every form of human existence. Accept and appreciate the differences in personalities; because, after all, who ascertained that you are perfect or ideal? Do not be in awe of your own self. Remember that even the image you see in the mirror is not what is you; it is the inner depth of your consciousness and self-realization which will make you stand apart from the crowd of invisible faces.
Appreciate the uniqueness
No two people can be alike in any way, let’s start accepting and at the same time appreciating this very fact. Why are we in awe of our own selves? Believe me, life would be too boring if everyone around us becomes our replicas. It would be stagnant, too predictable, with absolutely no excitement. Life is interesting because of the very composition of it being unpredictable, unknown. The surprise element which we keep encountering in various forms during our life’s journey is what makes it an interesting one.
Every individual is unique and a compliment or an ‘add on’ to every personality he/she comes in contact with. Take this as an opportunity to enjoy this beautiful life with all its colours, in all their shades. Let’s enjoy the diversities of this world in every form. Every divergent aspect of an individual will give us a different point of view, perhaps even a better one.
If a person is not like you then he or she is only different from you and is not wrong. There’s a difference between the two and if you learn to accept this fact, you will make your own life a much happier one avoiding unnecessary conflicts of any sorts with people and situations.
Decode the nature
Look around and learn from nature. You will not find even two leaves of the same tree to be identical. No two dogs, cats or even two humans are alike, because that’s the way nature is supposed to be—varied and versatile. You and I are nature too. We are anomalous and that’s what makes each individual special and unique in our own way.
We all admire the rainbow and appreciate nature’s glory every time we are able to spot one. It never fails to mesmerize us and leave us spellbound. But do we realise that there are so many shades in it? Surely not all those colours of a rainbow are our favorites or catch our fancy. But still we enjoy the ‘totality’ of all the colours put together. Try and imagine a single band of red colour or any other colour of your choice in the sky as a rainbow. Wouldn’t it be so monotonous, so bland?
While giving this analogy of a rainbow (and you can find a thousand more around you), you would realise that nature is the biggest teacher to teach us the simple facts of life, if only we are able to decode those hidden messages.
Let’s give ourselves another chance to once again know people for what they are rather than how we want them to be.
