It is often said that life is a journey and not a destination. Purpose of life is not to seek either pleasure or happiness or anything else but experience all. Life has its own ups and downs, pleasures and sorrows, good and ugly and we must go through all of these. For a meaningful journey of life, one needs two facets: proper state of mind and a pertinent attitude.
Life expedition of an individual can broadly be divided in four (4) phases:
1. Childhood / Curiosity / Dependent: During childhood, life is usually innocent and curiosity driven. The child gets inquisitive at everything with a sense of awe and excitement. Attitude of a child is mainly happy to be dependent on others: mother, father and other family members. He / she is comfortable in the dependent zone.
2. Youth & Student Life / Outward Orientation / Independent: This is the period when an individual explores outside world with friends and enters into a zone of independence with a his / her own perspective / thought process of the world around. He / she wants to continue to remain in the independent zone.
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3. Working Life / Maturity / Interdependent: This is the time when an individual is in active work / professional life understanding the changing dynamics at work as well as personal life. Family expands and he / she becomes more matured taking care of both children as well as parents. There is an attitude of interdependence in life.
4. Retired Life / Wisdom / Detached View: This is the toughest period of life. Having enjoyed the worldly pleasure, wisdom dawns on the individual and he / she takes a detached view of life, being within but away from the material world and at the same time live happily. There is a zone of interdependence as well as dependence feeling.
Learning for Elderly:
The above discussions provide a theoretical framework how the elderly should lead a life that should bring happiness both to them as well as to others. The main principles among them include:
1. They should develop an attitude of wisdom which means an insight and deep understanding of life, having game through its rigmarole.
2. An attitude of wisdom will automatically migrate the individual from worldly pleasure to a detached life. Detachment in this context does not mean the individual will not enjoy life and its beauties. It only means that the person will enjoy all bits of life without a sense of attachment and greed & expectations associated with the same.
3. An important aspect will be moving away from active engagement / interference in affairs of others. We as elders must understand that we have already taken decisions in our life and now it is time to allow others to decide for themselves. Even no advice should be offered unless asked for.
4. Family Role should be restricted to being Mentors. This will involve helping others i.e. relatively junior members to explore their potential and grow.
5. Remaining period of life should be utilized fruitfully in some meaningful activities like teaching children, or engaging in adult education or doing some service to others. These activities will keep the elderly engaged while at the same time bringing happiness to faces of others. Elders should also try to find out purpose of their life and engage in suitable activities.
6. None of us are going to carry away the money or material goods with us when we die. But at the same time, we should engage in principle of minimalism considering inequalities in the world. We as elderly should, therefore, spend some amount of our resources for others who need: children who are not able to study without money or patients who are not able to afford cost of medication or helping orphans / needy elders. As Dalai Lama once said that an individual will not be known for how many cars he / she possessed but will be remembered for how many people he / she gave lift to. That is the true meaning of spending a meaningful detached life.
Way Forward:
To be concise, elders need to follow the path of wisdom with an attitude of detachment, if they are to lead a life of contentedness as well as facilitate others around them to live happily. Elders have a great role to play in twilight years of their life; but there cannot be any conflict between what they do and what the younger generations do. Both must have reciprocal respect each other. While the younger ones will have their action packed worldly life with futuristic aspirations, elders must play a complementary role following path of wisdom. That is how both can live happily together.
