We are innately social beings and thrive in social settings. Many introverts feel that there is lack of love, care and nurturing in their life. These feelings can get intensified during days like Valentine’s Day. In order to take care of ones’ mental and physical health it’s important for people to use strategies and coping mechanisms designed to help people deal with loneliness. Instead of living in dread and drowning in loneliness, there are things introverts can do to excel through the day.
1. Celebrate the day of love: Make the most of this day by becoming an ambassador of love. Meet or call your family members and friends and tell that that you love them. Do something nice for yourself and for people you love.
2. Focus on self love: A lot of people constantly seek love externally and don’t focus on loving themselves. If you don’t love yourself and respect yourself then how can you expect others to love you. Be grateful for everything you have and are proud of. Fall in love with yourself! Be thankful for your looks, body, health, intelligence, personality and your achievements. Be happy with who you are. We are all a work in progress and have certain flaws, but this should not stop us from loving ourselves for our uniqueness.
3. Invite single friends: Your single friends are likely to be feeling alone on Valentine’s Day and it might be a good idea to get together and celebrate your friendship. Invite them over to your home or go out in a group and celebrate the day together. It is difficult for introverts to make plans and socialise, however, pushing yourself a little and making such plans will help you to get out of your shell.
4. Stay away from social media: If you are feeling lonely it would be a bad idea to spend time on social media to cope with your loneliness. Looking at pictures of your ex and other people on social media with their partners is only going to fuel depressive feelings. Please don’t use social media to deal with your curiosity of “who is doing what” on Valentine’s Day, it is only likely to make you feel worse.
5. Acceptance: Accept your feelings rather than avoiding them. You may be feeling lonely today, but it’s not a guarantee that you are likely to feel like this for the rest of your life. In order to deal with loneliness, it is important for introverts to make efforts of connecting with people and to increase their circle of friends and associates. This will give them opportunities of forming new friendships which may result in an intimate relationship.
6. Make plans: If you are likely to feel alone on this day, then it’s probably not a good idea to spend it alone in your room or home. Book a holiday for yourself, book a table at a fancy restaurant and take yourself out for dinner, buy something nice for yourself, book a massage, watch a film or a play. Do a bunch of stuff to stay busy.
7. Express your feelings: Try journaling your thoughts and feelings — be brutally honest and pour all of your feelings. It is absolutely crucial for your mental and physical health that you don’t keep your feelings of loneliness inside of you. Make an appointment to see a mental health professional and discuss your emotions openly. Speaking with a therapist can be the best gift you can give yourself on Valentines’ Day. You can also gift a session to a family member or a friend who might be alone and miserable too.
8. Treat it like a regular day: Some people find it easier to cope with the day by treating it like any other day. The important thing is of dealing with the feelings associated with the day. If you are a type of person who can go through the day without allowing it to affect your moods and emotions then so be it. You know yourself better and do what works best for you.
9. Make the most of your relationship status: Being lonely for an introvert can feel extremely uncomfortable and it may even feel like a curse. Try to see it with positive eyes and do things which you would not be able to do if you were in a relationship. In the future when you are spending countless Valentine’s Days with a romantic partner, you are likely to think back to the day when you were alone on the day and felt incomplete. Don’t let this happen.
(The writer is psychotherapist and Founder of Mind Factory)
