BETTER THAN BEFORE
GRETCHEN RUBIN
Hatchette India : Jan 2017
Rs.399 : Pp 304
The tendency to classify human beings according to perceived attributes probably goes back to the zodiac signs. Straitjacketed into twelve categories human life is said to be guided by grouping of stars out there – and you wonder how, or why. And the beauty of a wondrous starlit night is transformed into a host of constellations, benevolent or malevolent depending on your date of birth. For greater credibility the science subdivides the twelve groups into literally thousands more with various planets and stars (including the Sun and the Moon) being ascendant or regressive, and/or resident in one ‘house’ or the other. Accuracy is thus brought down to the exact time (or thereabouts) of one’s birth making, the ‘reading’ as individual specific as is possible.
So, when Gretchen Rubin starts off, you’re put off somewhat by the initial classification of people according to their outer and inner expectations: so we have Upholders, who respond readily to both the expectations, Questioners, who question all expectations and will meet an expectation only if they believe it is justified, Obligers, who respond readily to outer expectations but struggle with their inner expectations, and finally, Rebels, who resist all expectations. Rubin gives a short quiz at the end of the book to find out where you belong.
Then there are other sets of classifications. Are you a lark (early riser) or an owl (late night worker)? Are you a marathoner (working at a slow and steady clip), sprinter (working in bursts of intense effort) or procrastinator (who work to deadlines but wish they had started before the deadline looms)? Are you an overbuyer or underbuyer? You love simplicity or abundance?An opener or a finisher?A familiarity lover or a novelty lover? Are you promotion focused or prevention focused? Do you like to take small steps or big steps? After the initial uneasiness about being “classified” one realises that this is all an exercise to analyse oneself. The emphasis of the entire book therefore is: wherever you are at present in the sphere of achievement of goals there is a better way of doing it. Analyse your habits – of action, thoughts, opinions, prejudices – and decide for yourself which of these are aiding you in your achievement of objectives and which need review.
Once you have noted the habits, track them. What is monitored is within our consciousness and therefore can be changed.But first one has to accept that habits are very powerful determinants in our day-to-day activities and the achievement of our goals in life. It was Albert Einstein who said: Once we accept our limits, we go beyond them. How then do we determine our limits? What do we do with ‘bad’ habits and how do we go about acquiring ‘good’ ones? Here the classifications come in handy. Once you find out for yourself, where you stand under the various groupings, decide what you are going to do about your present status. And move! Stephen Covey in his “First Things First”, talking about the need to organise one’s day in terms of the long and short term goals in life, emphasises the need to “exercise integrity at the time of the choice” – which, in practical terms, means that once you have decided to do a particular thing at a particular time, do it without procrastination or excuse. Interestingly, Rubin points out that one of the most common tricks that procrastination can play on you is that of keeping you busy with other work. The ‘other work’ justifies your preoccupation with that activity – while the work that you had planned at that particular time or something that has been bothering you for a long time and you have been postponing for no valid reason, remains undone. This is a real eye opener to the subtle yet insidious way in which the ‘habit’ of procrastination can impede your progress.
Rubin also gives us some insight into how habits are formed and nurtured by us consciously or unconsciously; she also shows how difficult it is to give a sort of one-size-fits-all formula that can help us in the identification and/or monitoring of habits. Some habits are so ingrained in us that we don’t even consider them as contributors to our success or failure. As Samuel Johnson said: the chains of habit are too weak to be felt until they are too strong to be broken.This is where the classifications set out by Rubin help in deciding where we stand – and accordingly to identify the habits that matter. And these habits cover the entire range from eating to sleeping, to reactions to people and situations.For as Hemingway said: “There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self. And that’s what this book is about. Becoming a better version of yourself.
You would expect a book like this to be written in a drab, unattractive style. Rubin has the unique talent of mixing deep research, personal experiences and an apparently irrepressible sense of humour – which she spreads lavishly throughout the book. It’s a thoroughly engaging book at least for those who are interested in finding out what they can do with their lives – through their habits. As is usual with most self-help books: it is integrity at the moment of choice that makes the difference!
