Important decision
I am 31 years old and 3 months pregnant. I recently found out that my to-be child has Down syndrome and I am completely devastated. My family has been forcing me to abort the child, but I do not think I really want to do that. I have conceived after a really long time and my gynaecologist has said that the chances of me conceiving after my abortion is very less. I am not able to make a decision. I know my husband is against having the baby, but I want a baby to call my own. I know that taking care of a Down syndrome child may be difficult, but should I really abort the child? These thoughts have been disturbing me. Please help me out.
Ans: One thing you should clarify is whether you child has Down syndrome or does it just show that you are at the risk of having one, meaning when you to the test in pregnancy which is usually done between 9 weeks and 13 weeks, where certain characteristics determine whether you are at the risk of having a child with down syndromes. If your test suggests the high possibility you can be prepared that the child you conceived can be a Down syndrome baby also knows that if a woman has had a baby with Down syndrome, her chance of having another child with the condition is higher. If you are preparing for a child with down syndromes, you should know some facts and do your researches of how it will be parenting a child like those. Children with Down syndrome are happy children and develop basic skills: like talking, sitting, running and so one just like the others, but at a slower pace. They can be looked after medically and with the right treatment right from the birth and that can help them to cope considerably well. They can go for schooling just like any other child and earn a living too. There are good institutes as well that can help you out with this. Share all this facts with your husband and this might help him to change his mind. None the less decision is yours as you bare the child and no one can force you to abort it. Be confident in your chose but choose wisely.
Finding ‘me’ time
I am a mother of 2 boys. One is 6 years old and the younger one is 2 years old. My husband works in the ship and so he is not at home for 6 months every year. It gets really difficult to handle the house all alone. We are not well off and cannot afford a maid. I am continuously on my toes during the day as my boys are really naughty and I usually never get to rest. This has taken a toll on my health and if I tell my husband, he may choose to take a job offshore. This job will not pay him as much as the job in the ship. What do I do?
Ans: Looks like the mundane task of running the house is getting to you. Even as a housewife you need a break like any other jobs. If you can’t manage to get away for a short break, then learn to take quick breathers in your everyday routine. Turn back to your passion that used to help you feel nice and revived. After being a mother, women tends to forget their other roles they played and the whole priority and attention goes to children solely. Get the attention back to your own self, remove time for yourself, probably when your children are in school or sleeping. Delegate your work to them in small chores which they can handle and that way they will feel responsible, they stay busy and your work is done too. Try to figure things out for yourself instead of asking your husband to change his job. Since you and your children are spending too much time together and you spend no time for yourself you are feeling overwhelmed with house responsibility. Change this aspect as much as you can and try to find your sanity by taking your regular timeouts.
Stressed
I am a 17-year-old boy. I come from a family where everyone is either an engineer or a doctor, but I have other plans. I want to become a psychologist as the subject intrigues me. My whole family is against it and they are forcing me to become an engineer because my future will be bright. I really do not like science and I know I will not survive. I really want to kill myself as I think I am no good. My dad keeps on calling me a ‘disgrace’ to the family.
Ans: Seek professional help as soon as you can. All this pressure is disturbing you, but the very thought of killing yourself is an alarm to your stress. Also a professional can help you with career guidance, this will not only help you clear your mind from the confusion but you can actually find out what are your natural ability and interest and a good combination of this will help you take the right decision. Whatever the result, if discussed with your parents probably they will be more receptive of the decision coming from a professional as compared to thinking that it is just your impulsive choice. There will be a career test results to validate what the counsellor has to say and thus they might agree. If not the counsellor can at least guide you as to how to cope with pressure you are experiencing at home. Meanwhile at least involve a good friend or a family member who can help to strike a good balance and help you with the situation at home. Taking someone into confidence can assist you see the situation from the third person’s view and also help you take better and matured judgments.
