Why Should Happiness Not Be The End Goal Of A Relationship?

Why Should Happiness Not Be The End Goal Of A Relationship?

Relationships are battlegrounds where insecurities, past traumas, and destructive habits clash

Somi DasUpdated: Saturday, March 23, 2024, 11:45 PM IST
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Pic: Freepik

In the romantic narrative, happiness reigns supreme, but to truly thrive, couples must confront the shadows lurking within their psyche. As renowned author Anaïs Nin once said, "We do not grow absolutely, chronologically. We grow sometimes in one dimension, and not in another; unevenly. We grow partially. We are relative. We are mature in one realm, childish in another."

Relationships are battlegrounds where insecurities, past traumas, and destructive habits clash. Rather than chasing fleeting happiness, couples should heed the wisdom of Friedrich Nietzsche: "One must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star."

In the early stages of relationships, it's all too common to abandon ship at the first hint of discomfort or inconvenience. While toxicity and abuse should never be tolerated, dismissing individuals due to their internal struggles undermines the very essence of love. Rejecting someone because of their damaged parts denies both parties the opportunity to heal, understand, and grow together.

Premature rejection and impatience rob us of the chance to embark on a journey of self-discovery and mutual growth. Rather than hastily discarding relationships, we should embrace healthy avenues for growth, such as seeking therapy together.

It's imperative to recognize that every person carries their own baggage and battles. True love transcends perfection; it embraces imperfections and vulnerabilities. By facing challenges together, we foster deeper connections and create a space for authentic growth.

Ultimately, rejecting someone solely because of their internal struggles is short-sighted and counterproductive. Instead, let us cultivate patience, empathy, and understanding as we navigate the complexities of relationships. In doing so, we open ourselves up to the profound beauty of shared human experience and the transformative power of love.

The journey of confronting psychological pitfalls is not for the faint of heart. It demands vulnerability, honesty, and a willingness to face uncomfortable truths. As Haruki Murakami puts it, "Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional." In choosing to confront their demons together, couples forge a bond stronger than mere happiness—a bond forged in the crucible of mutual growth and understanding.

Through the fires of conflict, partners emerge not unscathed, but transformed. They learn to lean on each other's strengths and navigate the labyrinth of the human psyche. As Rainer Maria Rilke observed, "For one human being to love another; that is perhaps the most difficult of all our tasks, the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation."

In facing their psychological demons head-on, couples cultivate empathy and compassion. They become witnesses to each other's struggles and triumphs, forging a connection deeper than surface-level happiness. In the words of Maya Angelou, "Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope."

Ultimately, happiness in relationships is not a destination but a byproduct of the journey of growth and healing. As partners confront their shadows together, they create a sanctuary where both can thrive emotionally and psychologically. In the words of Carl Jung, "The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed."

In conclusion, while happiness may adorn the surface of relationships, it is the journey of confronting psychological pitfalls that defines their depth and resilience. As couples embrace the chaos within themselves and each other, they pave the way for a love that transcends the fleeting highs and embraces the profound beauty of shared human experience.

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