Spirituality for Millennials: How jealousy can be bad for mental health

Jealousy is an attack on oneself. A jealous person is a certified worst enemy of himself. A jealous person can be termed as a master self-whipper, heedlessly allowing the termites of jealousy to eat away one’s peace of mind.

Jealousy is considered to be triggered by another’s growth. In reality it is triggered by our own failure to grow beyond our psychological childhood. A peacock would be called foolish for brooding over not having strength in its wings to fly high and considering itself a useless bird. Similarly, a person, who attacks himself for not achieving success in one endeavor and concludes that he is useless, is equally foolish.

The natural symptom of the disease of jealousy is fear. Even the most innocent events in a jealous person’s life could become trigger points of fear. Since their batteries are charged with high supply of negativity, they feel extremely nervous while witnessing the success of others as it triggers memories of their own failures. They grade their worthiness based on their failures. One failure is enough to erupt in them fear of inability to compete and fear of rejection by the world.

When Kunti gave birth to Yudhishtir before her, Gandhari became so filled with jealousy-induced fear that she struck her womb fiercely transferring the blame for her failure to the baby. Born was a lump of flesh instead of a healthy child. Dhritarashtra was aghast and burned in jealousy towards his brother Pandu who got a son before he did. Not wanting to suffer alone and convinced that Gandhari is to be blamed for his failure to become a father first, Dhritarashtra decided to punish her.

Instead of supporting his wife with her emotional trauma, Dhritarashtra added to it by engaging in union with a maidservant and begetting a daughter with her. That daughter, Dushala remained an emblem of Gandhari’s failure throughout her life.

A jealous mind always seeks reasons to remain unsatisfied. Change can only happen when they accept the responsibility of having the disease of jealousy and wanting to get rid of it by consciously working on it. More often than not, such people change not because they want to change but because they are forced to. Jealous people love to remain all day under the shower of self-pity.

At the culmination of their frustrated life, Vidura interferes in the life of Gandhari and Dhritarashtra in order to help them understand how rigid jealousy had actually made them. With his wisdom he made them realize that they don’t need to be perfect to be worthwhile. Contemplating and acting on Vidura’s insights, at the fag end of their lives, both Gandhari and Dhritarashtra become peaceful with themselves and thus peaceful with the world.

Only when you are peaceful with yourself can you be peaceful with others. No one should expect others to give him what he can’t give himself. Let’s grow from the psychological childhood of jealousy to the mature adulthood of self-acceptance!

Take note…

  • Jealousy eats away one’s peace of mind.

  • Although considered to be triggered by others’ success, jealousy is in fact triggered by our own failure to grow.

  • Jealous people get extremely nervous while witnessing the success of others as it triggers memories of their own failures.

  • The counter-balance for jealousy is self-acceptance.

  • Real success is in accepting the weakness and not getting disturbed.

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