When I am demotivated because of failure or some set back, how do I stay motivated?
Sadhguru: If we motivate ourselves or get motivated by someone, there could always be someone else who will demotivate us. If something flips us up, something can always flip us down. What motivation means is that you build a false sense of confidence. One seeks confidence only where the necessary clarity is missing. Unfortunately, people have begun to believe that confidence is a substitute for clarity. No, there is no substitute for clarity. If we do not strive to bring clarity in our lives, if we try to live our lives on a puffed-up sense of confidence, which is motivated either by situations, people or whatever we think we are going to get at the end of the race, someone is always going to prick it and bring it down — or life situations will do it anyway.
If one has to walk through this life with ease, clarity is the only way. Clarity does not just come to you as a gift. It is something that we have to work at. There is a whole system of how to bring clarity, but because our education systems have become a heap of information, we are now trying to run on confidence. It is very important that as individual human beings, you invest towards bringing clarity to your life.
Is it better to go for a live-in relationship than marriage?
Sadhguru: A certain part of the population is trying to demolish the institution of marriage because of how marriage has been misused. But even couples who are in a live-in relationship are fighting with each other. So, these problems are not because of marriage. It is because of people’s own incompleteness and immaturity. I would say that demolishing the institution of marriage would be foolish right now because you still don’t have a good substitute for it.
Uncommitted relationships can cause an enormous amount of insecurity in people. This is what has happened in the West. Relationships have become so painful because they are constantly uncertain. This is why in Indian tradition, we created a certainty to relationships. Once you are married, it is for life. There is something very beautiful about it, but at the same time, if it becomes a source of exploitation, it can become very ugly. So which system is better? There is no system which is good in the world because every system can be exploited and misused. At the same time, every system can be used to live wonderfully.
So, whether a live-in relationship or cohabitation or whatever is suitable or not is an individual thing. There is no common prescription. But from what I see, most human beings don’t have the stability of mind to handle constant uncertainty. If you do not need it, it is up to you. It is individual but most people need it.
I have heard that waking up to the sound of a ringing alarm is not a good way to start your day. Is it better to wake up to a certain kind of music?
Sadhguru: Waking up to an alarm is not just about the sound. If you are in deep sleep and a loud sound goes off, it is the suddenness of the sound. In India, there is something called Suprabhat. In English, we could say “Suprabhat” means “good morning”. “Good morning” said not in words but by a certain format of sounds. It has mostly disappeared these days, but this would be the first thing you heard in the morning. Essentially, the idea is to wake up to the right kind of sounds.
In many ways, coming awake is like being reborn. In sleep, you are dead to the world, and now you are coming back again. With what context you come back will determine many things about the nature of your day. Coming awake to an alarm bell with a sudden start is not the best way. To come awake to silence is the best thing to do. You know how much sleep you need, so you go to bed early enough so that you come awake naturally. But if you have doubts whether you will come awake at the right time or not, then at least use the right sounds to wake you up — not a ringtone which will just shock you out of sleep. It must slowly bring you out of sleep.
(Sadhguru is a yogi, mystic, visionary and bestselling author)
