“When you lose a loved one, you discover an angel whom you know.”
I understood this statement after I lost my mother a couple of months back. She left in a peaceful manner without any suffering or pain. She was a role model not just for me, but also to many of her friends and family members. And, all her training and nurturing helped me succeed in life. We had the best time of our lives together.
Mothers play a very important role in everyone’s life. And, it is important to reflect on their contribution that shapes us as individuals. Each person will have many stories to tell about his/her mother, and various memorable moments of love and care. The impact is deep and profound.
Among various roles that mothers play, one of the most important is ‘maintaining relations.’ This is something that Chanakya believed.
He said, “And those who are without relations have to be necessarily maintained.” (1.12.1)
Mothers play a crucial role in maintaining relations within and outside the family. Chanakya understood this aspect and taught his students about relationship management. At times we take the contribution of mothers for granted — do not wait for the loss of a mother to understand her worth. Make sure you value her when she is around and make her happy.
Here is something you can do to make your mother happy:
Know the relations she values
Though relatives and relations are very important for her, many do not know the various other people she admires. Try to find out and make a list of relationships she values. It could be her school friends, the role models she admires, her cousins and other important people.
There was a woman who used to admire a film star. Her children knew about it, and on her birthday surprised her by taking her to the celebrity’s house. They had got in touch with the star and requested him for a meeting.
In another case, the children came to know that the mother’s old teacher was not keeping well. They took her to the teacher who lived in their far-off village. Those moments spent with the teacher were the happiest moments of the mother’s life.
Spend time with her
This is no rocket science. Everyone knows that to make a person you admire happy; the best gift is time spent with them. Our parents and elders too require our time.
Even on the busiest day, make sure you spend a few moments with your mother. Today technology has made communication simpler and reaching out to loved ones has becomes easier. A phone or video call is all it takes. Of course, the more time spent with your mother the merrier it is. One can also plan an outing or a vacation to a place she loves (perhaps in a Covid free world). Let her be free like a girl, and allow her do everything she likes. These will not be just memories for her, but for you as well... Moments to cherish forever.
Money is important for her
Let us not forget this important aspect. Whether your mom is a working woman or a housewife, give her money. She will love this gesture. Remember, it is not the money, but her freedom to spend the money on whatever she wishes. As children, we should make sure that apart from her financial needs being taken care of, give her extra to fulfill her desires.
Also, it is important to note that more than self, women spend money on their loved ones. So, what you give her actually comes back to you as a gift. Chanakya even suggested that when the king has to go to war, he should consult the women of the house, seek blessings from his mother, then proceed. Same goes for us, while facing the various curve balls that life might throw at us, mother’s blessings are the greatest armour we will require to emerge victorious.
(The writer is Founder Director of Chanakya Aanvikshiki Pvt Ltd, a best selling author and an expert on Chanakya’s teachings. He can be followed on his twitter @rchanakyapillai)