Every December, world seems to switch on a single mood. Malls glow, playlists loop familiar cheer, offices host Secret Santas, and Instagram turns into a highlight reel of matching pyjamas and perfect tables. Somewhere between the sparkle and the “most wonderful time” captions, a quieter question begins to nudge people who don’t feel festive: What’s wrong with me? Nothing. Not this year. Not any year.
In fact, even global health bodies are now framing loneliness and social disconnection as a serious public health issue, not a personal failure. The World Health Organisation estimates that 1 in 6 people worldwide is affected by loneliness, and links it to major health impacts.
And in India, the demand for support is visible in numbers too. The Union health ministry’s Tele-MANAS initiative, India’s 24/7 mental health helpline, has handled over 29.82 lakh calls since inception, with more than 12.33 lakh calls in 2025 alone, as per a government update.
So if the festive season feels heavy, you’re not “doing Christmas wrong.” You’re just being human.
Season of performance
“Around Christmas, many people feel pressure to be happy and cheerful, even when they don’t truly feel that way. You see celebrations everywhere, and others posting joyful moments. This can make you wonder why you aren’t feeling the same,” says Tarun Gupta, Co-Founder at Lissun, an online mental health therapy platform in India.
He adds, “But a holiday doesn’t change what someone is going through. Stress, loneliness, grief, or tiredness don’t go away just because it’s Christmas. For some, this time of year can feel even heavier, and that’s okay.”
And yet, the expectation of cheer can become its own kind of stress. Research and surveys in the festive season repeatedly flag money worries, grief, and loneliness as common triggers, with mental health symptoms worsening for many people during this period.
Gupta’s advice is deceptively simple: “To ease this pressure, we need to stop forcing ourselves to feel a certain way. It’s okay to keep things simple, decline plans, or take a step back. You don’t have to pretend everything is fine. Sometimes resting, talking to someone you trust, or taking a break from social media can help. Not feeling happy all the time doesn’t mean something is wrong. It just means you’re human. If you feel extra pressure, remember basic techniques like Diaphragmatic breathing, Mindfulness, and meditation can help you deal with these pressures.”
Merry, but not for all
Dr Sujit Paul, a certified mental health & life coach, points to the gap between the postcard version of Christmas and lived reality.
“Christmas is a holiday period that society presents as a time of great joy with the shining lights, smiling faces, and family gatherings accompanied by fun and parties. It is nice to visualise the celebration this way, and yet, I still think that it is significant at the same time to say that the Christmas festival is not the same for all, and this is completely fine.”
He continues: “Christmas could mean loneliness, loss, grief, money worries, and strained family relationships for others. The pressure to ‘be joyful’ can actually conceal these feelings, leaving people feeling guilty or isolated for not conforming to the festive experience. The impact of social media does not diminish this, with illusions of happiness never actually experienced.”
This “illusion” has a very modern amplifier: the feed. Even when people know social media is curated, it can still create a sense of being left behind, emotionally, socially, and even financially. The Indian government’s own Economic Survey framing of mental health as a productivity-and-well-being issue reflects how widespread stress has become in daily life.
Dr Paul underlines a crucial reset: “Mental health is not about being positive all the time that you are supposed to be, but about being honest with yourself and being open to your true feelings. It is not a sign of weakness, but rather a sign of humanity when one feels down, tired, or even emotionally dead during the holiday season. One may indeed be taking care of oneself through the act of taking a break, setting one's own limits, or keeping things quiet.”
And then, the line the season most needs: “This Christmas, let’s normalise emotional authenticity. Happiness is not something we are obliged to have during the holidays; that is, it is a journey, something that might manifest differently for each individual. And emotional authenticity is definitely something to be celebrated.”
Emotional whiplash
Bharatnatyam artist Apeksha Niranjan describes the emotional whiplash many feel when reality doesn’t match the “perfect Christmas” script.
“Christmas is often portrayed as a season of non-stop joy, sparkling lights, perfect families, and boundless cheer. This image, repeated through films, social media, and advertising, creates an unspoken pressure to feel happy no matter what. For many, however, Christmas can amplify loneliness, grief, financial stress, or unresolved family tensions. When reality doesn’t match the ideal, people may feel guilty or inadequate for not feeling festive enough.”
Her reminder is grounded and freeing: “It’s important to remember that emotions don’t follow a calendar. Feeling sad, anxious, or simply indifferent during Christmas doesn’t mean something is wrong. It means you’re human. Allowing space for honest emotions can be healthier than forcing cheerfulness. The season can still be meaningful without constant happiness through rest, reflection, or quiet connection. This Christmas, perhaps the greatest gift is self-compassion, permitting yourself to feel exactly as you do, without apology.”
Metaphor for messy truth
Singer and entrepreneur Jashan Bhumkar frames the pressure through the language he knows best, i.e. music.
“There's a lot of pressure around Christmas to have lots and lots of joy... It can sometimes feel a bit like someone's put a barbell on me to force me into being happy every single second of the season.”
Then he offers a gentler lens: “I see it like music as a singer and performer: Music is like our emotions in that it has its ups and downs, and even though there are lots of different notes that are joyful or happy, sometimes you can find the greatest meaning in those sad or darker notes...”
Bhumkar adds, “Forcing ourselves to be happy causes us to carry all those burdens and makes them heavier. It's ok to stop and be still with those feelings and to acknowledge them without putting judgment on them. When we are authentically ourselves, we will find our true peace, not on a stage acting out the roles we think we should be playing.”
Grace in being natural
Gautaam Borah, Global Director at Oxford Climate Network and expert in Bharatiya wisdom, takes the conversation beyond the season and into inner steadiness.
“In the philosophies of Bharat, joy is not an event; it is the by-product of an inner state of harmony and balance. With the commercialisation of holidays like Christmas comes a huge pressure to be happy, successful, and fulfilled, which can often disconnect individuals from their real state of existence.”
He points to “sahajta”—naturalness—as an antidote: “Therefore, while we may be able to put on a show of being happy, if our heart is heavy, our mind exhausted, or we are simply not ready for a celebration, no amount of forced happiness will ease our turmoil.”
And he suggests a better question: “Rather than asking, 'What is wrong with me for not being happy?' we can try asking ourselves, 'What is my inner self trying to tell me today and what does it need?'”
In a season obsessed with “highs,” Borah’s closing feels like permission: “By honouring our emotional state, we will discover a quiet peace within and that peace is sanctified much more than joy that has been forced.”
Maybe this year, “celebration” is a shorter guest list, a quieter evening, a phone call instead of a party, a boundary instead of a smile you don’t have energy to wear. Maybe it’s simply choosing not to perform.
Because the truth is: not everyone is holding a candy cane. Some are holding grief. Some are holding debt. Some are holding loneliness. And many are holding it silently, until they don’t have to.
