Managing desires - II

We saw that we can manage desires by focusing on the ‘need behind the desire’ otherwise known as a priority. Human beings may have about a handful of priorities from which a few hundred desires emerge. If you live a life trying to fulfill your priorities, all your desires are as good as fulfilled, even though every one of them may not be fulfilled.

The next question is, How to fulfill my priorities and desires? Because the fact is, now that I've identified my priorities, its fulfillment becomes even more important. My goal orientation can make me highly stressed because my goals are my priorities now. Out of our priorities come the roles that we play in life. Like if love, physical companionship, etc, is important for you, then you will play the role of lover, husband and wife.

In each of these roles, you want to fulfill some goals which will be short-term and long-term. One will have to break down it down into what you're going to do every week and every day which will help you reach the goal.

Since both the priority and goal is so important, it can be very stressful. One way of handling that stress is to focus on what you can do, and not worry about the goals on a daily basis. Fix up the process - how you are going to get there and focus on it. Keeping the end in sight always may be counterproductive. While the goal and the overall priority are in my attention on a daily basis I need to focus on what I'm going to do.

The more I am focused on what I am doing, the less stressed, I am. For instance, if financial independence is my priority I make a plan considering the work required, the learning and resources that I have. It is worth reviewing regularly in a few months or maybe twice a year. On a day-to-day basis. I focus on the process, not on the end result. What is the connection of spirituality with the management of desires? We will see in the next article.

(The writer is the founder of Aarsha Vidya Foundation. You can write to him at

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