- Pujya Gurudevshri Rakeshbhai
The biggest difficulty, the biggest mistake, the biggest sin of the soul, is that it derives its identity through others, from others. Who am I? What am I? This identity is obtained by peeping into the other, using others like a mirror. Just as when you stand in front of the mirror, you decide how you look based on the reflection you see.
Similarly, you derive your identity and determine your personality based on what opinion or impression others have about you, and not independently. The Enlightened Ones say that this is not how you determine your identity. Identity acquired from others will be incorrect, uncertain and inconsistent. While one person says you are very intelligent, the other ridicules you as a complete fool; while one person praises you for being courageous, another considers you a coward. Who will you believe?
Have you ever seen Japanese mirrors? When you pass by them, suddenly you appear thin, fat, tall or short. In the Japanese mirrors, you don’t appear the way you are, but bizarre images are reflected in them. In reality these mirrors reveal nothing about you, they only speak about themselves. So too, in peoples opinions, varied images are reflected, the opinions that people express about you, do not reveal your identity but in reality, reveal theirs. When someone says you sing well, that statement does not speak about your singing; but it expresses his understanding of ‘good singing’. However, you accept it right away and conclude that you sing well.
Buying Identity From Others
The first tragedy is that you do not derive your identity by yourself, from yourself, but conclude who you are from others’ opinions. However, the second tragedy is an even greater one. Here, you first create a false impression about yourself in the eyes of others and then, based on that impression you start evaluating yourself. If you stand in front of the mirror and smile, even though you are not truly happy within, what will be reflected in the mirror? A smile! Similarly, in a sad event, you may say to others that you are not affected and you have gladly accepted all. Hearing you, an image of you is reflected in their mind.
Based on that image, they praise you for your glad acceptance. Upon hearing this, you are delighted to see how people appreciate you for your glad acceptance. And in due course, you too start believing that you have glad acceptance while you have none. An oft-repeated lie creates the illusion of truth! Do you realise this game? This is a greater tragedy, because in deriving your identity like this, you are wasting your time in entertaining people and pleasing them, so that they form a good opinion of you. In this way, you do not earn your identity; you buy it!
How Does One Attain the Real Identity?
Gurdjieff often told his disciples, “If you want to know yourself, you will have to leave the people aside; meaning you will have to lessen the importance of people’s opinions and stop looking at yourself through the eyes of others.” Real identity cannot be known by increasing one’s acquaintance with people. In fact, it will be truly known only when people’s opinions hold no importance for you. You will not find your own identity by searchinginto others’ eyes, but you will do so by closing your eyes, by turning within.
What is your real identity? You are the Self, different from the body. You were, you are, and you shall always remain the supreme light of Consciousness. This is your real identity but you believe that 'I am the body’. You experience sorrow, agitation and misery, only because you identify yourself as the body. As you focus more and more within, a moment will come when your attention will get fixed within, and transcending all thoughts, you will experience the wondrous Self which is a storehouse of endless virtues.
