Most of your personality is created by you unconsciously. Just a small part of it may be consciously created. When you create a personality, in one way it means, you think the creator has not done a good enough job on you. If you think that it is something that needs improvement, then definitely according to you, the creator has not done a good enough job with you.
So why do you feel that such a grand creation – something that is so fantastic – is not good enough? It is because of the simple process of self-preservation. This is a basic process which is built into every cell in our body. Every worm, every insect, every animal has this. Human beings also have it. The problem is, we don’t know where to contain the process of self-preservation. It has spread itself into everything, because of which you have created a small person of yourself who will defend himself all the time.
The only thing that needs preservation is your physical body. Your personality does not need preservation. Even if we maul it every day, it should be okay. You cannot live without a personality. You need one to exist here, to go about in the world, to do your work, to manage things. But if it is flexible, then you can put on the right kind of personality in different places as it is necessary for the situation; that would be fine.
Now, who drew this caricature that you call “myself?” It was definitely drawn by you, but you have been influenced by so many people around you. When you were fifteen or sixteen years old, after watching some movie that you really liked, unconsciously you tried to walk like the hero, isn’t it? Sometimes maybe you did it consciously, but most of the time it happened unconsciously.
So, this caricature came into existence because of all kinds of bits and pieces that you gathered. It cannot exist even for a day without your support. You need to support it all the time. What meditation means is, in one way, you are just withdrawing the support for your personality. Suddenly it collapses. Only the presence is there, the person is no longer there.
With life, you were offered an unbounded possibility. But by distorting yourself into this tiny possibility, you have committed an atrocity.
